My Life is a Sitcom

It's really the truth. Here are some short examples.

The other day I walked into a room of friends and was carrying my lunch with me. I was talking about what a great mood I was in for no particular reason. I said "yea, it's probably just because the bottom is about to fall. . . . out" The pause between fall and out was when the drink I was holding in my hand dumped out all over my white shirt, jeans, and white shoes.

The only response to that is laughter. What else can you do.

Then yesterday was my 22nd Birthday. (It was also Taylor Swift's, but she and I aren't on speaking terms right now, so let's not go there.)

-->First of all, somehow Febreze sets off fire alarms. So because of me an entire ACADEMIC (not residential) building had to be evacuated for 30 minutes while Public Safety and the Deland Fire Department checked the building for any flames. They even brought an ax, and an ambulance.


--> Then, I was at Chili's and my friend made the entire restaurant sing Happy Birthday to me....not the waitresses, but other guests. Embarrassing

---> and last, but certainly not least. I have these friends Jessica and Claire. They are both English and Religious studies dual majors. They are also witty smart-asses. Which makes for a great combination and I'm really glad we're all friends. They thought it'd be fun to try to get back at me for all of the awkward/embarrassing/uncomfortable moments I've caused to countless individuals by coming up with this idea of who my husband should/will be. So they choose our friend Christopher. Who hasn't even known us very long and is very shy. And they've been secretly making fun of me about it because I guess it get's their gears grinding to see me squirm. I will also add that this is purely their imagination running wild--and the story is without merit.

So late last night after I got back to campus from driving a friend home, our friend Natalie meets me at the door, says Claire had to step out but for me to check my email as soon as possible.

(note that this was Claire's last night at the school...she's graduating, getting married and moving to Texas---to find out more see my previous posts).

So there is a computer, and a chair sitting in the middle of the auditorium. Which I am already sensing is kinda weird. But I reluctantly follow directions. And I hope my email to a short message about how much I mean to Claire and a hyperlink to this website.

CLICK HERE


If you decided to come back after viewing that precious jewel, it's more than I could do. I was crying I was laughing so hard. These girls went WAY out of their way to play a practical joke for my birthday and I felt SO loved. Although, probably not in the same ways that website is suggesting.


And to make things even better. Christopher walked into the coffee shop the next morning when Claire was sharing this story with some more of our friends. So now he has seen it as well. Here's to an awkward encounter with him in January.

I love my friends and I love that my life is just like a sitcom--I never get bored. Happy Birthday to me.

University Student

Another video discussed lately.
I've watched it several time and each time I see something new.
Be prepared..it's pretty dense.

The Power of Vulnerability

This lady goes on my list of real gansta's. Best twenty minutes of my day so far. . . .

If the video isn't embedded then click HERE.

I'm sitting outside her small group right now, and listening to her invest in people she will soon leave to become a new bride.

She invests, although she could be doing many other things--devoting work to her coursework, enjoying her last few weeks with close friends, spending time preparing for her wedding and move to the great state of Texas and graduate school/seminary. (all at once)

She has invested in these members of her small group and in my life as well.

Claire.

A fun story: we met on our very first day at Stetson. We were in an orientation group together and after a strange encounter with another student who thought that we knew each other, we decided to exchange numbers and then never spoke to each other again for almost two years.

Funny how things work. She's still in my phone as Claire (focus).

So fast forward two years and we are reconnected through CCF. And somehow we begin these random late night jam sessions where we talk and cry and laugh and sing and she shares with me her beautiful voice and even more beautiful way of being able to listen to what feels like hours and hours of my junk--big and small.

Claire relates well. She makes it a point to demonstrate a place of understanding before ever offering a reply. this means more than she'll ever know. and has proved a great part of her ministry to me and to others.

I'm excited to see these changes in her life, even though selfishly I'm so sad that she'll be leaving me for texas....who moves from Florida to texas?!

I could write so much more. but I'll choose to go spend some time with her instead.

bee tea dubs...I'm so thankful for your continued friendship, guidance and sarcastic banter.

Short 2

My favorite part of the weekend by far was tennis with my dad. I got home on Friday and because my dad has Friday's off we got some quality time together. This is my dad [ignore the fact that we were looking at different cameras...we're silly people]

And tennis wasn't awesome because of our fancy tennis skills and moves, or our athletic ability in general, but for a long time I didn't take advantage of the blessing of a close relationship with my dad and I'm thankful that the Lord is gracious to me in allowing me second changes. [and 50th chances]

And, the best part of it all was inviting a boy who was waiting on the town bus to join us. I can't remember his name [a trait I get from my dad] but he was 5 and he was awesome.

I just love, love, love working with that age..it reminds me of a lot of wonderful things humans forget with age. Anyway, I got to play tennis with that kid and he got to run around like crazy. Fun for everyone.

[Affectionately and Originally] entitled: Short 1

I broke down and drank a pumpkin latte tonight. I enjoyed it, especially since the weather was conduce to a warm beverage tonight. However, I can thank it for the fact that I'm still alive and awake right now [and not in the productive sort of way, where I'm getting lots of work done] but more so in the random blog kind of way.

This weekend I read Ellen Degenerous' book, "Seriously...I'm Kidding" Easy read, but a good one. I so, SO enjoyed the insight and laughter that comedians bring. Sometimes it's good to be a little light-hearted... especially with a bunch of heavy-hearted stuff in the world. Here's an excerpt from the last chapter:

"Contribute to the world. Help people. Help one person. Help someone cross the street today. Help someone with directions unless you have a terrible sense of direction. Help someone who's trying to help you. Just help. Make an impact. Show someone you care. Say yes instead of no. Say something nice. Smile. Make eye contact. Hug. Kiss. Get naked. Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying "I can't tell if that person is laughing or crying but either way they seem crazy, let's walk faster." Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling. Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it's different from what your neighbors believe in and different from what your parents believe in. Stay true to yourself. Have your own opinion. Don't worry about what people say about you or think about you. let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying.

While I don't take Ellen as the source of authority in my life I liked what she said.

regret

You know that feeling when you're forgetting something? It probably means you did. Like coffee at Boston's with girls that you don't get to have many conversations with--real conversations anyway.




That's a sucky feeling for sure.

Today I'm forgetting beautiful weather, wonderful conversations and nice deep breaths in order for productivity in the crazy academia-land of late.

I think I made a poor choice.


also..i like this one:

A little bit of this...

Yesterday I accepted a full time job offer. Here's to growing up and getting old. And having a steady income. I want a tree with glass bottles hanging from it. I want to learn how to cook fancy dishes for no special occasion. I want to join a book club. These are definitely the first things on the "grown-up" Kaylyn list. I also eventually want to take a ball-room dancing class. That's right. Get your kicks.

Is it too soon to be thinking about how I want to decorate my apartment? I'm excited for crafting and for consignment shopping/yard sale-ing.

As far as the work, if I can handle 12 weeks, why not 40 more? I may need a few more suits for this though. I'll try to find some less-prominent shoulder pads.

I went camping with the CCFers (new student retreat) this weekend. I got red bug bites. I refuse to call them chiggers. That makes me think its some communal disease. I did learn that they aren't embedded under your skin. That's a myth. Good news for paranoid Kaylyn. Piece of advice to you all: don't google image chigger bites to diagnose yourself. Just don't.

Other than everyone getting infested with invisible bugs, there was good conversation, springs exploring, grilled hamburgers, s'mores, laughter, transparency, fierce apples to apples gaming, ghost stories, and one excruciatingly hot sleepless night spend on the ground in a tent.

I painted my fingernails hot pink, and it has proved to be a great motivator/mood lightener this week whilst paper-writing, researching, and textbook reading.

The week has introduced the revival of the PB&J. Triangles, not rectangles.

The call with the executive to seal the job above happened at 9:30am and 20 seconds. My alarm went of at 9:30am. Benadryl the night before because of above infestation. Great experience.

This semester has Case Study Tuesdays and Exam Thursdays. No seriously. Every. week.

Today I brought back the happy shoes. The yellow ones.

Listen to my new friend mike's youtube station. Here's a sample.

bee tea dubs...a little bit of that.

Time to Breathe

The past few weeks have been. . .well normal. I've completely failed my goal of keeping a disciplined sleep schedule...I've completely failed at keeping a sleep at all in some moments. I have just gotten very frustrated with the lack of time.

There's not enough time to do all my school work, take care of my "jobs" on campus, and also be an encourager to those whom I serve in CCF, a student ministry I'm in on campus.

And this semester I've made a different choice. I've chosen to spend more time with people than with my books. I know it just sounds like Senioritis, but really--this has been a sacrifice for me. My pride of being perfect in my grades has been very hard to swallow. Now, I'm not saying that I'm going to flunk out of college to make a bunch of friends. But, as someone once told me, the only two eternal investments are in God's Word (and Himself) and in man's soul.

More lunches talking with new students on campus and less in cubicles hiding in the library. More meetings with small group leaders, and more time in prayer for our student ministry than sitting watching online TV shows in my room.

(Now, with that said--I'm learning my lesson on the need for rest and renewal. There is no more important thing that being continually Filled in order to pour into others. I can't keep this up much longer without seeking the One who can give me the energy, and the patience, and the will to continue.)

A rundown of my Friday:

I woke up at 4:45AM to get ready and check-out of a hotel in Orlando. I began working at 6 that morning for the firm that I interned with this summer. They invited me back to staff a non profit conference for around 300 CFOs & CEOs of ministries, charities, schools, and other non profits. They had various guest speakers come in and they shut down the office so I got to see all my staff family from the summer.

Little did I know I was going to have to sit at the front of the main lecture room to hold up signs with the "5 Minute/1 Minute" warning signs for the speakers. I guess, being the lowest on the totem pole, it makes sense.

I wrap all of that up around 4:30, head back through Friday Orlando Traffic, grab some dinner and get back to Stetson at around 7pm. I don't even remember putting my PJs on or getting in my bed (the previous two nights I got about 4 hours sleep)...my friends came and woke me up around 8:30pm because there was a hangout night downstairs.

Groggy, Dazed, and Confused I stumbled downstairs...not really sure if I should have just stayed in the bed.

Last night was my favorite night in the past two years (at least) at school. Nothing had really been planned for the night, just get people together and hang out. We ended up doing a ton of things--starting with man-hunt in a pitch black building. Awesome. Then we switched to indoor frisbee/basketball and finally Mafia. It was around 10:30-11 when we finished our final game of Mafia and I thought that people would be heading out...

But people just naturally moved on to a new thing. We ended up pulling out some pots and pans and a foam ball and then playing a pretty roudy game of indoor baseball. I served as a mascot halfway through with my ghettofabulous dance moves included.

Again, after the game was over it was nearing midnight and I was sure that people would need to be heading out.

But my new friend Mike pulled out his guitar and a sing-along ensued. Oh man, between the dim lighting the acoustics of the room, the friends surrounding me, and the awesome choice of song...i just got the shivers. I'm going to miss moments like that so much after graduation.

We ended up sitting around in a circle just talking about random things...funny how funny things are at 2am. I love how at 8pm I barely knew some of the people and then I felt so close to everyone just a few hours later. The Lord is so faithful in allowing us relationships. I am all too often a poor steward of the blessing of them.

We decided that since most of us had to be up a few hours later we should wrap things up...but no one wanted to be the first one to leave. We all knew how special the night had been. How rare it is that, in life, we will get to have a time like that again.

So---tomorrow I will be a hermit in the library. I will stress about getting all my projects done and not failing out of college my senior year. But today I am thankful for time. I am thankful for a time to sit and sing and laugh and learn and be silly and be serious.

Have a little Faith

This semester, along with the normal load of accounting classes I'm auditing a Religious Studies seminar called "The Dynamics of Faith". Don't worry, I'm not that much of an over-achiever. I was roped into this, and partially out of my own pride and partially out of curiosity I don't want to back out now.

The professor taught both of my parents when they were students here and he's already made it clear that embarrassing me is on his top list of things to do in his last year teaching. He's a sassy one. Very dry/sarcastic and you, no matter how perceptive you may be, can fully read him nor predict where he's going next. His personality is both elusive and intriguing and makes the class a heart attack and a half.

The first assignment was to write about "what concerns you about Faith?"

Aside from the fact that this question is very vague and can be interpreted in many different ways, it sparked some interesting conversation this week. Hot topics of my paper were:

• The historical use of faith to create boundaries and barriers between people of different genders, races, ethnic groups, etc.
• The use religion, masqueraded as faith, as a means to gain personal power
• Self-centered faith. (God bless America for example)
• "one-size-fits-all" faith.

and then things get more personal, some things discussed among students that are also in the class:

• the fear of becoming comfortable and stagnant in my faith
• the fear that my definition of faith isn't the same as God's definition and therefore that I lack faith.
• fear of loosing my faith
• the degree of faith we put in material things, relationships, etc. ---what's acceptable, what's not?

Good questions, great conversation. So I pose to you--what concerns you about faith?

How to Love

Not the typical post you'll see on this blog....

Heard this song on the radio this summer, just got around to watching the video. It's pretty powerful. Unfortunately real stuff people deal with everyday.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

-1 Corinthians 13:4-6

Some thing in the previous blog reminded me of this.

Summer of Healing

At the beginning of the summer I made a challenge to myself to make this summer the "Summer of Discipline." This challenge included healthy eating/exercising habits, daily quiet time with the Lord (including elements of prayer and Scripture meditation), diligent work ethic, positive attitude, and a regular sleep schedule (normal beditme=10:00pm)

I would urge you to look me up on twitter and peruse the "#SummerOfDiscipline" tags to see what some of my fun and no so fun moments of the learning experience were.

But as I sit and think about what this summer has really been about, Discipline is not the first word that comes to my mind. I don't think that it was the end, but maybe the means. The first word I thought of when reflecting on the summer was (assuming you've read the title this shouldn't come as a shocker) "healing".

I think back to May--I was in a bad place. I felt out of control and lost within myself. Scared of a summer job and new living situation. Bitter about what I chose as my summer plan. Lonely in unfamiliar territory. Angry that I wasn't more grateful at what I had been given. Easily frustrated. Anti-social. Depressed. And the list goes on.

Where strong emotion once dictated my attitude/actions/thoughts/decisions, now stands the discipline to refuse to be enslaved.

Last fall when I sat in a dark dorm room crying for the Lord to make it clear what decision I should make about this summer He heard me. He answered my prayer. It wasn't the answer I wanted. I let doubt edge its way into my life and shy-ed away at going to the true Source of Wisdom. I wanted an easy way out.

Hindsight is 20/20. Camp for me this summer would've been a mistake. I was not in a good place to be ministering to students and to be working with staff. I was broken. I needed healing.

After 12 weeks of barely any internet, no TV, regular sleeping hours, a healthy exercising routine and eating habits, and a full work schedule I feel so different than 3 months prior. Couple the previous list with the fact that most of my friends were busy with opposite schedules and it made for the perfect Kaylyn rehab.

Less. Is. More.

The Lord stripped away a lot of things in my life weighing me down, and left me with so much more.

I'm so thankful for a God who knows what's best for me and forgives me for my short memory. It was only a year before that I had been stressing about a summer at a church camp--worried that the people there might try to suck the fun out of my soul or something like that. . . .only for August to come leaving me friendships that I'll treasure forever.

I feel different. In a way that's hard to describe. Free would be a good word--free from dependencies I had once let myself become enslaved to. Resolved would be another--resolved to continue to monitor the role that my emotions have in my life, and to continue to actively pursue discipline. Peaceful.

I'm a little apprehensive about returning to the real world of distractions and technology. It's kinda like celebrity rehab or something. (or maybe not at all.)

There's that short term memory loss acting up again.

Tomorrow will be the end of the Summer of Discipline, the end of my internship, and the end of my stay with the Edwards. While I may or may not shed a few tears on my drive, I'm definitely thankful that the Healing will continue.

True Life: Don't let your Dreams be Dreams

Well, I want to keep this short. Mostly because I have an awesome book sitting beside me that's calling my name. And also because I'll probably go long, but at least I've made it known that I wanted to keep this short. It's not like I'm starting off by saying "I hope to make this a long dissertation on the subject whereby wasting your time and being conceded enough to think that long rants of mine are worth reading. (whew)

I found a card in the store the other day: "You're on the right road if you're happy when you're lost." Wow did it really speak to me. There are so many moments thus far (in my short existence) where things have happened that I didn't think would fall on the "planned" path of my life. Friendships, experiences, obstacles, pain, travel, adventure, etc.

Most of those things have turned out to be life-altering--mostly for the better.

You're on the right road if you're happy when you're lost speaks about the moment. The joy of the journey, not the stress of figuring out where you're going.

As I get more adjusted to my adult life, (or the fake summer I'm having of it) it's harder to remember to dream. As I prepare for my final year of school (in the traditional setting) my mind shifts to the practical, to the planned, to the typical "adult" mindset which considers bills, and living situations, and family, and career...and less on "I want to back-pack Europe, write a book, and get another tattoo" (mom--those were just examples, no need to fret. I'm just sticking with my one)

I saw this quote on a pillow in the store as well: "Sometimes on your way to one dream you get lost and find a better one."

I want to commit to never stop chasing my dreams. It becomes harder to remain a dreamer as the practicalities of this adult life become more consuming. But I know it's possible. I know it's possible because I see hints of it in the lives of my friends. In books that I read, and when I look myself square in the face I know that above a lot of other things I'm stubborn.

It's going to take more than adulthood to squelch the wide-eyed child-like dreamer in me. And while I'll adjust to this new life, I get to enjoy being happy whilst I'm lost.

Bee Tea Dubs..."You're on the right road if you're happy when you're lost"

True Life: Kaylyn Is Old

All summer I have joked around about being old, growing up, and leaving my youth in only memories...mostly because I'm melodramatic, but lately I've been getting scared at how accurate I may have been:

Signs of pre-mature aging:

1. Every night without fail, I go to bed by 10:00pm. This has started including weekends. Friday night I was so tired I went to bed at 9:45. The 70-year-old's I'm living with stayed up that night until almost midnight watching a movie.

2. I've grown an appreciation for the news/current events, I'm listening to NPR in the morning, and checking the Wall Street Journal as a secondary news source. My days of using Entertainment Tonight as a source of current events are over.

3. Auto-tuned music gets on my nerves. (Maybe this isn't a sign of aging, but of good taste.) Lately, all of the top 40 songs sound the same to me...and I dislike them.

3a.(The exception to the rule is "Moves like Jagger" by Maroon 5...for some reason I really like the song..mostly because it makes me dance and whistle. Judge away.)

4. Sticking with the theme of music, this morning I caught myself listening to the jazz station on my radio because it was relaxing to me. Frank Sinatra was playing and I was loving it. Oh, hello mid 40s, I've missed you...since apparently I'm now 70 years +)

5. I find myself talking about the weather more and more...and in natural conversation.

6. I pack my lunch everyday. The same thing.

7. While eating lunch, I read a book. That's right, not only am I old I am old and sad. I'm one of those ladies who eat and read by themselves because their family grew up and left them in a home and all their friends are dead. Except I still have color in my hair that is not white, gray, or non-existent. (My apologies for the unnecessarily depressing description there.)

8. I drink decaffeinated tea because I'm worried that caffeine will keep me awake at night.

9. Along the same lines...some mornings I wouldn't make it without a cup of coffee.

10. My hobbies include card writing, reading (the book is awesome..."The Help"--movie is coming out next month..and I'm excited) and sleeping. Sleeping is my favorite part followed by card writing.

11. My weekend activities include: the gym, grocery shopping; budgeting; car maintenance and sleep.

12. I wake up by 8:30 on Saturday Mornings. And my first thought is usually the laundry I need to start.

13. I am an ironing pro.

14. I find the computer less and less attractive. (I think this has to do with the fact that I'm forced to stare at one for 8+ hours a day as it is)

And believe me there are more...but I don't care to bore you anymore than I probably already have. The truth is...I am old. But at least I can find some humor in it...and that's the key to staying young...still having the ability to laugh at yourself.

Bee Tea Dubs...I also think it's really important to continue to dream, to have the ability to think outside what's expected.....so stay tuned. "Kaylyn is old" pt. 2 is next

"On the far side of every risk, the love of God triumphs. This is the faith that frees us to risk for the cause of God. It is not heroism, or lust for adventure, or

efforts to earn God's favor. It is a childlike faith in the triumph of God's love--

that on the other side of all our risks for the sake of righteousness, God will still

be holding us."

-John Piper

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess; for he who promised is

faithful."

-Hebrews 10:23

Haircut

So I got a new haircut and I thought I'd share a picture.

This and so much more came from my wonderful trip to Atlanta to see my great friend, Danielle.

I just realized she's known me for the most amount of time.

I guess she stuck around long enough to see me actually get a hair style for a person over the age of 8.

Faithful

This subject has been on my mind and heart.

Check Mate.

Whew, since I've last posted it seems like I haven't stopped for a second and half to even get online. (Minus my phone for tweets and stalking on FB mobile during drives home and lunch breaks)

What I have done this past week is grown to appreciate my stable (though temporary) home here in quaint Mt. Dora. I spend 4 days/nights in Miami on an audit last week, slept here for one night before spending the weekend in Orlando with the fam. Hotels get old quickly I've found. I'm so blessed to have a home to live in this summer, even if it's not mine.

So nice to get to hang out with them on a pretend vacation. Probably my favorite part of the whole weekend was watching us all play chess. We were exploring the hotel property on Saturday evening and found a life size chess board, and couldn't resist. My mom and sister didn't know how to play so I played with mom and dad with Karissa. We all left our cell phones in the room (upon my sister's request...as her cell phone was dead?!) and we played for almost at hour. As lame as it may sound, it was great family time that I miss more and more as we all get older. And it didn't hurt that I beat my dad at chess for the first time in my life. Such a great feeling :)

And now I'm "home" for 3 nights before I drive to Atlanta for July 4 to see one of my all time fav's Danielle. I can't wait to have some fun mixed into this summer of discipline.

Not much in depth to say. Today was probably one of my favorite days at work. I was auditing a church, and they had an orchestra camp going on so I had great background music, the two people I worked with were the best thus far with communicating and it was a phase 1, so in laymens terms there was less number crunching on excel sheets and more thinking/researching/analyzing risks of the organization (basically--i felt like what I did mattered). AND, my in-charge showed me an e-mail from a shareholder about what a great job I am doing. So yay for words of affirmation--i felt loved at work today.

Sometimes

......Sometimes I wish my head would shut down because it would give my heart a little bit of a break.

• The other day I thought to myself "hah, wouldn't it be cool to tell people I lived on the western side of an east coast town on the southern boarder of north carolina."

• Then I thought to myself, "surely when you start coming up with your own little riddles for yourself--this is a sign that you've lost it"

• I'm beginning to give up on my hopes for Africa in December. It's just not looking like a reality. Which really saddens my heart. One day, though. One day soon. Please Lord.

• I've thought a lot about how much we (I) cheapen words by our (my) constant/thoughtless/careless use of them. We (I) must really start putting more of an emphasis on saying what we (I) really mean, rather than choosing to use the easy words and causing words with so much depth/meaning become cliches. (e.g. "love")

• Tonight I heard "He's not the leavin kind" by Rascal Flatts and for the first time realized it was talking about the Lord. I'm really dense sometimes when it comes to paying attention to what I listen to.

• I think that the happiest time of my life thus far was my summer working camp.

• Its always interesting to pause for a second and think about what kind of life we have chosen for ourselves. How small choices have really big affects.

• The Edwards celebrate Father's Day like most people--with great food. . which means I wasn't very disciplined today. There have been no dramatic results, but part of discipline is sticking with it, so even though I'm dissapointed I'll be doing my workouts this week.

• This week I'll be near Fort Lauderdale on an audit. Staying in a hotel will be fun, and a different scene. . .but waking up tomorrow at 4:30 will not be. I'm excited for a change of scenery and to get to know the girl that I'm going with better.

• Today I caught myself being really judgmental in church. It's amazing how hypocritical I can be sometimes. Have patience, He's not done with me yet.

• The song below moves me every time I listen to it. My prayer tonight is that it is the case in my life no matter where I am.

The Edwards

I am currently sitting in a living room in Mt. Dora, FL (aka: middle of nowhere...on a farm) with two of the nicest/most hilarious humans on the planet, watching a lifetime original movie.

A few months ago, I would've never thought that this is what would consume my evenings, but I am so thankful that it has worked out this way (minus the lifetime movies).

Mr Ray and Mrs Joyce Edwards were members of the church I attended when I grew up in Jasper, FL. . . a similar small town in the middle of nowhere with one stop light, and no grocery store. They baby-sat me and my younger sister when we were kids, and when I heard they were in the area and I was pretty much desperate for a place to stay that I could handle I thought "there's nothing to loose." So 10 days before I had to move in, I contacted them, and they were generous enough to offer me a room in their home to stay.

They live 45 minutes away and I have to go through toll roads to get to work, but this is worth it for the wonderful friendship I've gained in the Edwards.

You have to know that this couple is in their early 70s, and that they have a passionate love for live which filters its way in practical jokes and great stories. They used to t-pee our yard on my parents birthday's . . with pink flamingo's and all kinds of tacky yard-art. And they still do that kind of thing to their friends. They laugh with each other about all kinds of things, and I'm constantly laughing with them. I don't think they realize how funny they are and that makes things all the more funny.

They love each other. I'm going to keep this from being all emotional and all, but I got to hear their story and here are the major points. They met at 18 and 19, married at 20 and 21, and had 2 kids by the time they were 23. They didn't have a lot of money and had to work hard for a lot of things. They are country people and have their hearts filled with genuine kindness. When they look at each other and laugh and re-tell the stories of the life they have built together...oh man, even for a non-romantic like myself (psh, who am I kidding) that is just beautiful to be witness to.

They have also taught me a lot: for example, the difference between a cream can and a milk can...one is half a big because of the weight of the liquid. And general cow care...I'm a slow learner of farm life, but I'm appreciating my well-rounded education.

So not only have they provided me a home, they have provided me company and food! Despite my stubborn trying to take care of myself, Mrs. Joyce has a homemade meal ready for me when I get home from work. We all sit down at a table and talk about our day...a real old fashion meal.

I love that, and I love not getting on my computer very much during the evenings, and instead spending an hour visiting before my early retirement. They have schedules and systems and I love that too, but above all they have provided a place where I can relax and break away from work and stress and that was much needed.

I love these people, and I wish I had time to share more of their stories and specifics..because I'm serious when I say they could have their own sitcom.

As I was pumping gas this evening an unkept, scraggly, skinny man walked up to the guy on the other side of the gas pump and asked if he would drive him down the road for 3 dollars. The guy pumping gas asked where the unkept man was headed and said that he had planned on driving that way anyway so no need to pay.

There was nothing special about the guy pumping gas. He looked like any other blue collar worker in a pick up truck. He didn't have on fancy clothes or look super sophisticated.

This summer, as I work this internship what I want to do with my life is forever in the back of my mind (or the forefront of my mind as the case usually is).

As I cried thinking about the kindness of the man pumping gas, it became very clear to me--

No matter what job I end up with (or go without), how much money I have (or don't have), how my family life is (or isn't)...basically no matter what my circumstances are (or aren't)...

THAT is what I want to do with my life.

Bee Tea Dubs..I know this doesn't help from a practical standpoint...but lately I've been dealing with a lot of practicality and sometimes it's overrated.

Work it out.

Just wanted to check in with you and let you know about my gym experience thus far:

Okay, so recap. . .I don't have much spare time in the day...and now an hour for gym and travel and there goes the day altogether. But I think it's worth it.

I've met with the trainer 2 times, and we've done two full body workouts on the circular machines, she's yelled at me about my eating habits and I've done some cardio on my own. It's baby stuff right now, but she's giving me a week to work out like this on my own before I do one full session with her to see what personal training would be about. Hopefully she'll wip me up into shape before no time.

In the meantime all these healthy choices are about to kill me. I didn't realize how much self-discipline living healthy requires ((note: this applies in all aspects of life))

Who knows. This isn't the first time I've tried to become physically healthier, but it is the first time I've been this public and I'm hoping that the fear of being embarrassed serves as some accountability. I guess I'm trying to use my pride in ways that can benefit me. haha.

So much more to write about, but it's already past my bedtime. I'm offtrack with the schedule and have been having a hard time staying awake at my desk. BOOOOO for working full time.

Somebody find me a job where I don't have to work.

Bee Tea Dubs. . . there are so many more things I could say about how this Blog title relates to my life right now. . .I'll save it for other posts. . .oh and I have to write about the Edwards (Joyce and Ray)

A Day in the Life.

So I'm feeling like it's time to clue you in to my life since the big changes. I guess I've kept the public (and by public I mean the 3 of you who read this blog) at bay long enough. Instead of a rather long catch up to work and "home" and the like I thought I'd just give you a typical day in the life of Kaylyn this summer...since I've got a sort of formula to my day. Which....if you know me at all...works well when I have some sort of schedule and plan.

5:45- Wake up, usually thinking I've overslept. I still haven't gotten over the nervousness of being late to work. That's the worst part of my sleep.

6:00- Alarm 1 rings. I get up, make my bed, turn on my straightener on, brush my teeth.

6:10- Alarm 2 rings (I told you..I'm paranoid about sleeping late)

6:11-6:30ish: Hair, Make-up, last minute wardrobe corrections, Dressed, make my lunch

6:30-6:50: Quiet Time. So far, I've been consistent about getting in the Word in the mornings. And I've made it a priority...and it's made all the difference on my daily life. Beginning the day reading what the creator of the world and my heart has to say to me really puts things into perspective. I really put an emphasis on the creator of my heart....Because He has been putting a lot of things on my heart and mind and leading me to truth and it just overwhelms me how He knows me so much better than I know myself, and how much He wants the best for me.

6:50-7:00: Jump in the car, wave goodbye/good morning to Mr. Ray (I'll get to him later) who is usually into his 40th minute of walking around his driveway, get the GPS going, and off to work.

7:00-7:40: Drive--I watch the sun finish rising, and greet the Lord with prayer and song. (and fight nasty traffic..but mostly the first two) This is probably my favorite part of the day. I love that I'm already awake and getting things done, and I love that I have

time to talk to the Lord before the craziness of the day begins. And again, this is the time that has made all the difference in my life as of late. I get to pray for friends who are serving at Camp and in churches, my family, my coworkers, my day, my attitude, my struggle, my future, my lost friends, people I've never met and His will for all of us. There's a peace in this part of the day that I've been trying to find in other things and have come up empty handed.

7:40-8:00: Park in the most scary parking garage, go into the office early (usually I'm the 1st or 2nd one there..again because I'm paranoid) Get started with the day.

8:00-8:15: Listen to everyone else get there, as I work in a cubicle that is in front of the copier and the break room and I can hear everything. I prefer to work in silence or music and so this is usually the least productive part of my day.

8:15-12:30: GET STUFF DONE! Some days I'm out in the field at client offices doing audit work, or in the office assisting the tax/audit/admin team. Wherever I am, you can be sure I'm doing work. One thing I don't lack is stuff to do. Which is nice because the day goes by fast. They also have a bunch of self-study materials that I have to complete by the end of the summer. . so really I have no free time.

12:30-1:30: Lunch Break. I've started packing my lunch to save some $$, but if I'm on an audit, I'll go out. Depending on who's in the office some of us will go out together some days. The people are so nice and I can't say enough about how welcoming everyone has been. I'm an awkward new situation person so I know that they don't know how cool I am yet, but they will soon enough and I can't wait til they love me and know that I am cool. haha.

1:30-5:30ish...See 8:15-12:30. Pretty much the same.

5:30-6:30 Fight my way "home". Also good time for debrief with the Lord, calling friends/family, and car jam session.. . which happens often.

6:30-7:30: Mrs. Joyce (I'll get to her later) has dinner ready. She refuses to take no for an answer, but boy am I thankful. We usually eat lots of fresh veggies out of their garden. I know exactly where my place setting is, exactly how to serve my plate, exactly what will be for drink (decaf tea with one packet of sweet-n-low) exactly where we will sit, and exactly the prayer that Mr. Ray will pray for our meal. I love it. It's like clockwork...they are scheduled, organized people, and for me in the current state of life I'm in I need it.

7:30-8:15 Help Mrs. Joyce clean up, take my shower.

8:15-9:00 Internet time, card-writing time, reading time, work that I've taken home time,

9:00-10:00 Try to keep my eyes open and visit with Mr. Ray and Mrs. Joyce which watching one of the TV programs they like. They have one for each night of the week, and I know now exactly what to expect on each night. (I love them and their predictability though!!) They especially love America's Funniest Home Videos and Lifetime Original Movies. You can ask me which I find more hilarious later.

10:00 By this time I'm usually unconscious.

Tomorrow is my first meeting with the gym in town though. So we'll have to start adding that into my schedule. I'm excited (and tired just thinking about it) for my personal trainer and workouts. I just can't wait to feel better about my health.

There are aspects that I want to expound on. And I'll have to write a blog about Mr. Ray and Mrs. Joyce specifically because there is so much I'd like to write about. They are a HUGE blessing. But I'm running out of time (irony) and I don't want to rush that post.

So now that you and every major stalker in the area know my exact life, I think I'll stop writing.

Ba du bop, ba duba dop

Well here they are.

My ultimate boy band obsession. And they've been back for awhile I know, but I've resisted listening to their music for a while for fear of reverting to my 8 year old days when I played their cassette of "middle of nowhere" so many times it broke.

that's right.

Hanson.

But a few weeks ago, I saw a concert on TV of Hanson and it was love all over again.

This is one of my fav's off of the new album "Shout it Out"

A long way from this classic. . . .

Oh the glory days. . .

Bee Tea Dubs, This is my 100th post. That's right. My 100th post was not some mind-blowing revelation. It was Hanson videos. You love me.

the calm before the storm

They say there's always a calm before the storm.

A stillness before the wind picks up.

Where the smell of rain is in the air, but instead of worrying about the ensuing rain, one relishes in the freshness of the moment.

That hasn't come yet, but I hope it does this weekend.

I think for me, waiting is the hardest part.

In the storm (or in the sunshine as the case very well may be) I have some knowns. But in the waiting there's uncertainty.



To speak straightforwardly instead of in meaningless metaphors. . .

So long summer, hello adventure...that comes with a dress code. and culture of its own. Hopefully I'm a quick learner, hopefully The first few weeks fly by and all of a sudden I'm used to what goes on and how to act, what to say, what my job is.

The fact that I'm being blessed in the midst of my complaint, of my hesitancy, of my sin and stubbornness is sobering.


And to be completely level with you:

These past few weeks have quite possibly been the hardest weeks emotionally for me.

It's like an out of body experience, where I'm watching myself get lost.

I read Betty White's memoirs book the other day and one of the things her mother said to her that has stuck with her was that you must always be able to look in the mirror and stare into your eyes and meet them straight on because you can lie to others, but when you look into the mirror and you meet your eyes there you cannot not know the truth.

I've had some shifty eyes lately.

I want to fight, but it's hard mustering the ability. I want to get off this nauseating roller coaster desperately.


Drama is not my intention, but to rob you of the struggle along with the blessing would be a lie.

and I think...comparatively speaking I have nothing to be distressed about. I should be so thankful. But I do worry, I am distressed. The hurt is real to me.

Despite my circumstance my story stays the same.

And I cling to the fact that when I can only cry out the words"Help me. I need You." He knows exactly what that means. And He knew them before I spoke them, and I trust in His Word, and remind myself of things like Romans 8.

He knows my name, and He cares for me.

He is not only the calm before the storm, but the calm in the midst of storm.

As we go on

The past week has been one crazy whirlwind.

• I have a place to live for the summer. PTL!


• I've had a pretty serious nervous breakdown.


• I slept for 20 straight (almost) hours.


• I went shopping for work clothes


• I pressure washed for 5 hours straight


• I haven't gotten any tan. AT ALL. :(


• But the beach is beautiful!


• I've been pretty unmotivated on the blogging front.


• Both sets of grandparents, one Aunt, two family friends were here for my sister's graduation...which was beautiful.

I love her a lot and am so proud of her. She'll be attending USF in the fall (Tampa, FL) for speech pathology. She loves the Lord and loves to sing. . .in fact. You can catch her singing in the shower in the morning and on her way to bed at night. Her joyful, positive heart is something I have always admired and the Lord has always used to glorify Himself. Sunday night the church honored the graduates and Karissa sang "Waiting here for you" by Christy Nockles. Such a great message for me right now. I'm thankful for my sister and her impact on my life and the lives of her friends. I can't wait to see what happens in our lives these next few years and how we begin the process into being best of friends.

And it was good.

reading Genesis 1 tonight, I am reminded that God made the earth good.

"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good."

the affects of sin surround us everyday and we aren't even aware of it, because apart from God, the creator of good, we don't know what good is.

we settle for lesser definitions of the word

lesser definitions of our purpose

of who we were created to be

__

Bee Tea Dubs. . .

a portion of Ronnie Freeman's "The Only Thing"
If you could walk the hallways of my heart
And see things as they really are
I wonder if you might be surprised

Seeing faded walls of pride and fear
Rooms I've filled with faithless tears
And corners where I've stood in compromise

Oh, but you'd see the work His grace has done
And you'd know just how far I've come

The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus
I'll live long enough to know no matter what this life may show
The only thing that's good in me is Jesus

A Dime a Dozen

My posts have been scarce (for me at least) and that's mostly because I haven't had much to talk about. Still not much, but here's a little about what's going on in my life:

1. One final til I'm a Senior. (What?!)


2. Still working on where I'm living for my internship. That's scary as my internship starts in a few weeks. I'm not stressed, which is what's worrying me a little.


3. Jessica got me the cutest owl stationary inside an owl box. Feel very special if you get a note from me on owl stationary this summer. . . .the only downside to what she gave me is that I don't want to send them because I love the print so much.


4. I have been drinking green tea with citrus out of a gallon jug all week. Judge away.


5. I now feel like I'm living in an insane asylum. Everything (minus a few necessities) is gone. My parents came today and we worked hard all day and now I'm a box away from peacing out of "Hall A" (how original) at Stetson.


6. I listened to angry music today (not really angry music...but 90s rock on pandora) and it motivated me to clean and pack.


7. I'm not a princess person (or wedding person) by any stretch of the imagination. . . but I woke up at 4 to watch 5 hours of coverage of the royal wedding and it was definitely worth it. I'll remember it forever, great time with friends and oh my lanta is Kate beautiful ...LOVED the dress!!


8. Sorry to those who follow me on twitter for blowing it up about the event mentioned above.


9. I 'm burdened for the tornado victims in AL, TN, GA, and NC. I think about the video below I posted and how difficult it would be for me to hear had I lost my home, my loved ones, etc. Telling me that being homeless was a blessing, that being a widow was a blessing, etc.


10. Something I've noticed lately, and have been discouraged by is the depth of friendships/relationships in general in my life. It's always hard when friendships change and for me small talk is exhausting. I love depth, talking about things that matter, being challenged, and not having people who understand who you are and what you mean without you having to really explain. Maybe that's my selfishness, or laziness, or my putting too much emphasis on people...whatever it is, it's been on my mind.


11. I hope to finish the project I've been working on for a while within the next week. That's the most exciting thing going on right now.


12. GOAL for May 7-May 21. . .dark. . . brown. . . TAN!

Thanks, Jenni for the reference.

Dear Blank.

• Dear College,

Thank you for instilling in me the willingness to sleep all day and stay awake all night. Thank you for an endless supply of pasta varieties in the lunchroom and for having the lawn service cut grass at 7am outside my window. Thank you for having a diversity day, where classes are canceled even though you know we all just go to the beach instead of attending lectures. Thank you for life-long friendships made over meaning-of-life conversations and sarcastic humor at your expense. Thank you for the upkeep of the property, even though it's funny how that happens right before alumni and incoming student tour weekends. Thanks for public safety, even though I've almost died more than once due to their horrible golf cart driving skills. It's amazing the impact you've had on my life in just three short years. I would say my time with you has been priceless, but then I remember you price it at a minuscule 45 grand a year.

Love,

An empowered college student.

----------

• Dear Orange Play-Doh on my desk,

Thank you for being flexible. Thanks for helping me relieve stress, and providing a creative outlet when I'm writing research papers.

Love,

A child

-------

• Dear Laundry on my bed,

You are wrinkled. I know you feel neglected now, but I assure you, you will get the last laugh when I'm wearing you around this week.

Love,

A lazy housekeeper

---------

• Dear wall of pictures and letters,

Some may judge you, but I adore you. Thank you for reminding me of all the people that care about me. Thank you for reminding me that I am loved. Also, thanks for adding a splash of color to these white walls.

Love,

A friend, sister, daughter, and granddaughter.

----------

• Dear Specifically Picture of Pacey Whitter on my wall,

Whew. Thank you. Enough said.

Love,

Team Pacey and a Dawson Creek Fanatic

--------

• Dear Alarm Clock,

We go way back. You invaded my life way back in middle school. Frankly I think the older I get the more we grow far apart. I like that you're a metallic green, but that's about all I like about you. There's something very naggingly annoying about you. You are constantly buzzing about something and to be honest I've had enough. I promise this isn't me being bitter about the fact that you are currently reminding me it is 3 am and I'm not sleeping, or the fact that you will be ringing again in a very small number of hours. I'm just asking you to be more gentle about it. I mean, remember that time that you made me fall off of my 5 foot lofted bed freshman year? That hurt a lot. Let's be better friends these last few weeks okay? Let me snooze a little.

Love,

Not a morning person

---------

• Dear painting on my wall,

I just noticed you are crooked. Now I can't think about anything else.

Love,

OCD

--------

• 
  
  
  Dear Readers of this blog,

the last few posts have been pretty heavy. don't worry. i'm still fun. i promise. Love, Kaylyn

Cry

-it's something I've never had a problem doing, and something I do quite often.

-but lately have not been able to do--mostly because I've been empty and numb

-so, tonight, for the first time in 3 plus weeks I cried.

and this is why:

--

have mercy on me, O God.

according to your unfailing love.

according to your great compassion.

blot out my transgressions.

wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

for i know my transgressions and my sin is always before me

against you, you only, have i sinned and done what is evil in your sight

so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge

surely i was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me

surely you desire truth in the inner parts

you teach me wisdom in the inmost place

cleanse me with hyssop, and i will be clean

wash me, and i will be whiter than snow

let me hear gladness;

let the bones you have crushed rejoice

hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity

create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me

do not cast me from your presence

or take your Holy Spirit from me

Restore to me the joy of your salvation

and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me

then i will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you

save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me,

and my tongue will sing of your righteousness

O Lord, open my lips and my mouth will declare your praise

you do not delight in sacrifice, or i would bring it;

you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings

the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Psalm 51

Bee tea dubs. . .this is not tears, this is my CRY

Quotes

There is perhaps no one of natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it. Struggle with it. Stifle it. Mortify it as much as one pleases. It is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself. . .Even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.

- Benjamin Franklin

----

'any pang of healing or forgiveness or goodness I have ever felt comes solely from the grace of God.'

-Phillip Yancey in What's so Amazing about Grace

----

"After the suffering of his soul

he will see the light of life and be satisfied

by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,

and he will bear their iniquities.

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,

and he will divide the spoils with the strong,

because he poured out his life unto death,

and was numbered with the transgressors.

For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors."

-Isaiah 53:11-13

Spring Fun

As promised, here are some pictures from last weekend. .. . .

My sis, Karissa for her Senior Prom. . . She was and is beautiful.

She is also a wimp. I'm so happy I captured this. . .her running from a bee in our front yard. It took like 4 times to get a good picture without her squeeling and running around like a pansy over every little gnat or fly. . . .

She's also goofy. . .which I enjoy.

The fam.

Dad rocking his Hawaiian shirts as per usual.

He thinks its okay because they live near the beach.

Karissa and her date Cameron. It was fun being her paparatzi.

-------

Also: Spring Formal; Theme: Fav Childhood Toys

I went as a Bop It. That's right. I rocked it.

The girls had fun jamming and dancing to some oldies, and some scandelous music.

Most of the group....still waiting on some

The treasure trolls made my night. bahaha.

Yay for spring, and for fun and for silly pictures.

Work

Last night, as I was studying for a test, a friend came over and we started talking (which led to more talking and no studying). Somehow we got on the subject of how life works. She shared with me a story she's reading in her English class about people in America who live in poverty with no electricity or running water and who can't afford medicine for their children. She told the story of one child who died of cancer because the parents couldn't afford any medication. Then, with tears filling her eyes, talked about how her aunt had recently been laid off her job and diagnosed with cancer.

I sat silent, a little numbed with the direction the conversation had taken and also knowing that I had no words worthy of saying at that moment.

After a while, she apologized for distracting me from my work. . .

to which I thought to myself (and eventually responded)

"I think you distracted me from a meaningless task, and helped me better focus on my Work"

and then

"There is so much pain in this world....what the [heck] does a business law test have to do with healing it."

For The Good

Organists

It's been a busy week, with a busy month left of school. I'll be really glad when the next 5 weeks of craziness are over, but I'm trying to embrace these last few weeks instead of wishing them away. The past week was rough and so I was glad when my parents drove down for a banquet Thursday night. I had breakfast with them on Friday morning before my dad left, and hung out with my mom all day Friday running errands together.

Friday night was CCF's formal (which isn't ever formal). This year's theme was "Favorite Childhood Toys" and so I dressed as a Bop-It. Less because I loved the game, and more because it was an easy costume and I found it to be clever. I'll post pictures in the next few days. I had fun releasing stress by way of my ghettofabulous dance moves....and I think others watching enjoyed them too.

Immediately after I ran back, took a quick shower and jumped in the car with mom, my roommate Ashli, and my friend Claire for the 6.5 hour drive home. Yea, we're crazy college kids...we got in at 4:30am EST quite a few coffee stops later. It was fun having the company driving...and we definitely got our Disney jams on...I think mom got a little more than she bargained for, but she was a great sport.

The next day it was all about my sis, Karissa. The reason for coming home (apart from getting a much deserved break from Stetson) was for her senior prom, so we were all up the next morning at 9 for nail, hair, and makeup appointments. (Minus Claire who went to spend the day with her Boo in P-cola 2 hours away)

I'll post pictures of my sis in the next post too. . .she was beautiful as always and one of my favorite moments of the trip was her asking me to help her get ready. Definitely Kaylyn crazy emotional moment.

My parents cooked steaks for me and my friends and I loved getting to sit at the table with my family and friends--and my Nanny & Jack came over too. We all played a rousing round of Apples to Apples before the prom crew was back for a quick change and then off again and we were all fast asleep.

Church with the family and friends on Sunday as well as family pictures (not my favorite thing in the world) on the beach. Claire, Ashli and I got up Monday morning at 5:30 and drove straight back to school in time for afternoon classes.

Definitely didn't get as much rest as I had intended or wanted, but I'm so, so glad the weekend went the way it did.

-------

Bee Tea Dubs....My favorite part about going to church at my parent's church is watching the organist. I know. This seems to be really silly, creepy, etc. I guess my history with organists is less than amusing. So my preconceived image of them is not very pleasant (stupid Kaylyn for judging) but has one of the most joyful spirits I know. She doesn't stop smiling while she is playing and her love for the Lord radiates through her playing and her attitude as she worships. She and I haven't had any conversations, but I think she has made one of the biggest impacts in my life by the way her relationship with the Lord overflows even in simple things like playing the organ.

Homecoming & The Boston Coffee Party.

This past weekend was Homecoming at Stetson...and it's always pretty crazy around campus--first with the University getting everything in tip-top shape for the Alum and then with a bunch of people walk around pointing and remembering their times here...the University has a very very rich history which is one of my favorite things about it.

Anyway, Saturday we (CCF) had a Baptist Ministry reunion for all of the alumni and it turned out to be way cool. We definitely underestimated how many people would show up, so after taking out more chairs, people were just standing in the back. It was fun to pull out year books and see wonderfully embarrassing pictures of my parents--as well as mingle with religious studies faculty and 80 year old people who tell you *the* most interesting stories about their uses of prayer rooms in Allen Hall.

We had a presentation about business-y stuff in the organization and the name change, funding stuff, etc. which I grinned and bared until it got to the fun questions asking alum to share stories. I got to sit with the crew that graduated in the 50's...I was so lucky. My uncle Jim and Aunt Mary (3rd cousins...distant relatives) were two in the group and it was nice to be connected in that way too...the theme of how the organization had changed them and stuck with them after graduation was very sobering to me.

I became a little overwhelmed with what a big deal it was to so many people and that the responsibility of carrying on a ministry that has potential to change my campus was becoming mine soon. . .

I had to speak for a few minutes and after starting off joking about the obvious influence of the Stetson Baptist ministry in my life (my existence) I found it was really easy to speak about all the ways the Lord has used BCM/CCF to bless me and to provide opportunities to be a blessing.

After mingling and hosting and speaking I was exhausted, but there's nothing more reviving that seeing faces I recognized from my previous two years at Stetson. Homecoming meant more t0 me this year, because I actually knew some of the alumni. . .they were the ones who were my small group leaders, and some of my closest friends. They showed me around DeLand, took me to plays in Orlando, and laughed with me at 3AM.

A group of us went to Boston Coffee downtown (a quaint little hole-in-the-wall) and caught up with each other. I didn't expect anything super deep, just to hear the surface-level things that were going on in people's lives. . . but within 3 minutes we were there. I shared first and they didn't let me get off the hook without difficult, real questions about my spiritual life. And the theme continued around the entire table. At one point, I was in tears ( surprising?...I didn't think so)

I am so appreciative to the Lord for these girls and for our lunch together on Saturday. I was encouraged and challenged and reminded of how the Lord has used so many people to show His love for me.

LtoR (me, Ashli, Sabrina, Paula, Amanda, Cate, Karen, Laura)

Child's Play

Lately I've been thinking a lot about children.

I guess it's been a little forced on me as I've been around Ben a lot, who is expecting a child in about 10 weeks. This is the first time one of my friends/someone I'm close to is going through the process of becoming a parent. It's really mind-boggling and intriguing to me. How does one prepare themselves to care for the life of another? Especially one so small and dependent?

I've had some really fun ideas involving learning more about child psychology and about parenting and I've shared my unsolicited advice with Ben and others this past week. But I can't take my brain off of the transformation one undergoes during parenthood...and what qualities make the parents 'good parents'.

It's fun to think about. And because I've been thinking about it so much I've been paying closer attention to families and their interactions. At the beach, being the creeper that I am, I watched this mother and her 3 young children. At one point the two eldest (who were probably 5 and 3) started army-crawling in the sand. They had been in the water already so the sand stuck to them...to their hair,bodies, faces, everything.


For some reason, watching the kids made me really happy. I started laughing thinking about how I had gotten to the beach, been very careful to take my flip flops off, carefully place down my towel and bag as to not get any sand on either and then get frustrated when sand got on me, or my towel or in my bag.

And there are these kids, enjoying every bit of rolling around on the white beach getting covered from head to toe in the sand. It looked like a blast.

So what do I do?

Naturally Kaylyn gets up, and starts rolling around in the sand herself--making sand angels and crawling around...and then runs down to the freezing cold water and dives in.

Aside from the entertainment value that my friends received, I am so glad I acted on the whim.

It was fun to be completely free and silly for a second.

To be a kid.

Bee Tea Dubs...Perhaps there are deeper lessons learned like how much we stress about not getting our hands dirty that we miss out on the Blessing of freedom that comes with not having limitations on what we are willing to do and living in complete Surrender to the Lord. . . . or perhaps this was a just great reminder that as children we are meant to be joyful and to embrace His creation.

Or maybe I'm just a crazy, silly person who doesn't know much better.

But in any case. This is one of two highlights of my weekend...the second is coming soon.

Please and Thank You.

Hakuna Matata

Yesterday I got the wonderful opportunity to hang out with my friends J. Sally and Zanolee and go to the beach for a while. Unfortunately it took us 2 hours to get there, because we didn't remember it was spring break until we were almost to Daytona. Oh what interesting people and sights there were around that area--I definitely got my people-watching fix from the hour sitting in traffic. Finally we ended up going to a private beach in Ormond near J. Sally's relative's house. It was so nice and quite and while they both took long naps, I read my Financial Accounting textbook. Boresville City.

After I finished (or really just got to a stopping point) I relaxed and starred into the gorgeous blue sky. It was the kind of clear blue that hurt your eyes to stare into...but mesmerizing enough for you to continue starring. There were no clouds in sight from any direction...and a wonderful breeze so no scorching heat either. I consciously paid attention to my breaths becoming deeper and deeper and more relaxed, and to the rhythm of the waves as they crashed against the shore....(crashed is being used very lightly here...as is waves...because I know I have west coast hater readers) My thoughts drifted and were varied but I couldn't help be thankful for those moments of stillness. There was a purity in that meditation. . . a peaceful appreciation for the moment.

Oh how I wish I could have that in the midst of the everyday---an appreciation for the moment...which would in turn overflow to dictate the ways I handled my conversations, my schedule, etc.

We left to go try out a wing shack in Daytona. (shack being used very literally here). .which led to a very fun(ny) experience. My cultural horizons were expanded, for sure. I'm glad that the Lord understands my love for laughter.

On the way back with our food (cause we didn't stay) we started to talk and someone brought up the fact that we are almost Seniors and that people who are everyday faces will be rarely seen again. Blah. Okay-I know for most of you this isn't a big deal because you've already been through it. . .and I also kind of hate that everyone always freaks out about how quickly time goes by especially since this semester isn't over yet and then there's a entire year left of college.

But, with all of that said, that is crazy. How in the world did 3 years of college go by? Where was I? What am I going to hide behind when I graduate? Real world are you even ready for an 'adult' Kaylyn? Is the 'adult' Kaylyn ready for you? I think not.


Bee Tea Dubs....And then I remember the blueness of the sky, the rhythm of the wind and the waves and the ever-constant reminder that in all things the Lord offers me His perfect peace.

The least of these...

As promised, here are some photos of my spring break. I didn't do a very good job of actually capturing the work we did...mostly because I was working. But here are some glimpses of where we were and the group. Really random order so prepare yourself for that blessing.

Wednesday was our day off/travel day and we went to Carrytown, where there was a lot of fun little historic shops, food...and I couldn't resist the opportunity for a photo.

Caritas where some poeple painted furniture that will eventually be "sold" [for free] in their warehouse to those transitioning from homelessness.

Carrytown Burgers and Fries..so good. I was enjoying the Hawaiian Burger when my friend Sabrina decided to mini photo shoot.

illegally riding back from some of our sites in the innercity--working at schools and Boas and Ruth the first day.

Margie, one of my favs.

She was sleeping.. I was faking.

Painting the lodge at camp alkulana

I decided to rip/cut with a key it in half so that we could increase productivity. . . it only took 20 minutes to fight it and get it to cooperate. This is my 'celebration on the defeat of the dropcloth' face.

Any trip without a flat isn't a real trip at all...Jimmy the maintenance man of Camp looks on as Jarian and Sabrina work on the tire.

Note: Sabrina asked what was going on. Jimmy explained that the tire was flat so they were rotating it so that it wouldn't be on the flat side. Sabrina said "oh, okay." . . . .

Somehow I ended up with this job before we left camp. . .

Claire and I enjoying the sights before we began the trip back.

Some of the cabins at camp

Team Burgers and Fries...we got shirts from the restaurant and then OWNED at Sardines that night. Won all 4 rounds with a quickness.

The church where we stayed the first part of the week was centered in 'The Fan' district which has lots of historic style homes and we joked that we were on the set of full house.

This was taken in front of a hospital. Why in the world did Margie decide it was a great photo opp is unknown to me.

Our fearless leaders....Margie, Ben, and hour host Beth and her brother.

'Managing and observing'

Painting the church that supports the camp

Most of the group on our free day!

Some girls (LtoR) Brittnie, Claire, Marya, Melissa and me

I said I was taking a nap before dinner... and then it somehow turned into this.

On Richmond Hill overlooking the city

Sadly the only picture I got of working with the kids in Richmond.

Happy because I was rocking the flower and a smile.

Happy because this girl had some sincere joy.

Happy because, thanks to the grace of the Lord, I got to share Joy with her.

Bee Tea Dubs....preach the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words.