In these last few days . . .

I have had an interview for a summer internship.

I have broken down into sobs in my dark, silent dorm room. . desperately listening

I have begun reading this book. . .

I have spend some time with my family and have been encouraged by my mom.

I have gone through moments where I was stressed out about finals, and then other moments where I have justified a sense of apathy toward academia.


I have sat at a coffee shop and listened to a friend talk about their daily drug use.

I have been honest with myself, and kept myself busy to avoid my thoughts.


I have lost distant family members, and have been scared to loose ones close to me.

I have laughed and danced and sang and enjoyed precious moments with my sister.


I have been blessed beyond measure.


I have been shakened.

I have listened to Santus Real's 'Whatever You're Doing' a few times.

And I have sat in my parent's kitchen starring at an empty blog screen at 2am, without any words to discribe the Lord's power, the Lord's presence, and the Lord's glory.

These last few days have not been about drama, although this blog seems to be a bit dramatic.

These last few days have not been about difficult decisions nor have they been about mere human experience and lessons learned.

These last few days have been about God's grace pouring richly over me soley in order for me to glorify Him in all and through all.


And that makes these last few days no different than any other day in history.

Beautiful

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It's all proclaiming who You are
You're beautiful, You're beautiful

I see You there hanging on a tree
You bled and then You died and then You rose again for me
Now You are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You're beautiful, You're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful, You're beautiful

I see Your face,
You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

I see Your Face,
Isee Your Face

I see Your Face
You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful


-Beautiful, Phil Wickham

Sara

I have a friend Sara. She and I met by way of one of our good friends, Jessica. Sara is from Honduras, and has taught me a lot about being brave. I admire her go-get-em attitude about things, her genuinue compassion she has on people who she knows nothing about, and her love for people who are completely different from her. She is perserverant and hardworking.



(((bee tea dubs, the picture above is really old. Freshman year, and she would kill me if she found out I uploaded it, but I couldn't find any other one)))

I don't get to see or talk to her much. In fact, this year I could probably count the number of real conversations we have had on one hand. But when I hear her speak; when I listen to her thoughts, I am amazed at the wisdom and articulation she possesses.





This week I was blessed when in a leadership meeting we were all sharing about people who have left a big inpact on our lives and she shared about both of her grandmothers in a very unique way.





I love Sara in that she has the wisdom of knowing when to speak and exactly how little to say. I could learn a lot from Sara in that.





Tonight, Sara overheard a conversation I had with a friend about my interview. She knew I was nervous, and worried, and stressed and also knew I knew I shouldn't be. And in her own, quiet, perfect way, demonstrated God's unending love for me. And unending patience with me.





Sara sent me a message with the following prayer, letting me know that her grandmother had given her this before her internship this past summer in Washington DC. Sara said that if things didn't sound right that it was because she had translated it from spanish. But when I read it, I couldn't have been any more clearly shaken.








I am thankful for Sara, and for this prayer for/of me tonight.

Holy Spirit,

Inspire me always,

in what I should think,

in what I should say,

in how I should say it,

in what I should leave unsaid.

in how I should act,

in what I have to do.

For God's glory and the good for my sisters and brothers

Holy Spirit,

grant me insight to understand,

capacity to retain,

method and capability to learn

subtley to interpret,

grace and efficiency while speaking

Grant me aptness to begin,

guidance along the way

and perfection in finalizing.

-Amen.

Bee Tea Dubs, I'm continually amazed by the Love of my Lord.

Persuaded.

I have been reading through Pslams, so that's why things have been focused in that direction. Anyway, I was thinking I would be writing a blog about this weekend, the crazy adventures with my family through Orlando--Universal and Disney in 48 hours. (And I still plan on doing that soon.)

But this morning, I am persuaded to blog more truth for my revival, and for my good.


Abba,

To you, O Lord, I life up my soul;
in you I trust, O my God.

(Do not let my own failures, my own struggles within myself put me to shame and triumph over me.)

Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths.

Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior,

and my hope is in you all day long. (Please let that be true.)

Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old. (Love and Mercy are nothing new with you.)

Remember not the sins of my mouth and my rebellious ways; (Cause they are abundant)

according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord.
(and you are MY Good)

Good and upright is the Lord;

therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.

He guides the humble in what is right (help me be humble)

and teaches them his way.

All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful. (Don't let me forget)
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.

Let this be my mediation as I prepare for interviews and decisions, and work and life, and always.


And Psalm 25 keeps on going with good stuff. . .


bee tea dubs, pray for my interview this Friday. The Lord is good, faithful, loving, and He knows what's up.

a word about The Word.

The Law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever.
The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous.
They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb
By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

-Psalm 19:7-11

The word. . .
-revives the soul, gives joy to the heart, gives light, is more precious than gold.

This morning I am joyfully reminded why I cannot neglect the Lord's Words to me. I am reminded that I rob myself of His joy and His wisdom when I choose to forgoe time with Him.

Bee Tea Dubs, my prayer is verse 20 of this psalm. "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."

Laugh until it hurts.

This past weekend I traveled to Jacksonville to do what we thought was a retreat, but what turned out to be an all-night youth lockin. We arrived at 6:30ish and after taking a quick tour went out to eat with the pastor before the students arrived at 9pm. They are currently looking for a youth pastor and could use all the help they could get.

We made some quick adjustments in plans, and did really well at just being flexible and going with the flow. Students began to arrive, and I was playing basketball in no-time. Part of my not understanding this was a lock-in, was me not bringing tennis-shoes, and therefore slip/sliding across the court and eventually playing bare-foot.

Battleball ensued next. We must have played at least 7 games, including one with students v. adults (adults won), and one of lifeguard, where my FUGE training definitely paid off. (Battleball made me miss the summer and staff for sure.)

We played a couple of fun team building games and then broke for pizza and worship. After their pastor spoke we played a few rounds of Mafia, in which I almost got into an altercation with a rather intense FSU fan. But no worries, Kaylyn kept her chaperon face on. . well at least at this point.

After card games. . more basketball. This time knockout which turned somehow into full court shots. (At this point, the adult Kaylyn should have come into play where I decide it's not a smart idea to throw a basketball softball style for thirty minutes across the gym.) Adult Kaylyn wasn't present (as per usual).

Then football. Remember how I was barefoot? Yea, that hurt a lot.

Around 3:30, the pastor said enough with the high-energy games (and I was so appreciative) and moved everyone upstairs for video games/sleep if anyone wanted it.

This is me, shortly after. I was a little punch-drunk, and a little silly. Remember this is 3:30.

Yea. I was so tired. But then at around 4, I got to have a jam session with some of our group and that gave me a little more energy. I love playing the guitar, and I love people who are patient with my lack of my musical gifts/talent.

Probably my favorite part of the night.

After that, somehow Ashli, Jessica, and I got designated as the all night chaperones to make sure there was no funny business going down with our mixed crowd. That's right folks. I was in charge of the Purple patrol.

Which basically meant I sat up while the church kids played card games, and got to talk with them until 6:30 when the youth pastor came back with doughnuts and we ate breakfast.

At 7:15, we loaded up and left. After the worst car-ride ever. . where I'm sure that I had lost the little sanity that I had, we got back to school at 9:30am.

Our group were troopers for sure. So much fun, so many laughs, and such good memories.

I was definitely reminded of many memories of youth activities and the adults who sacrificed sleep and time to hang out with hyper-active students like myself. I am so thankful for the mentors and adult figures in my life growing up who brought me up in Truth, and who worshiped God through the sacrifice of investment in others.

After I made it to my bed, I slept until 5pm, waking up very confused, I took a shower, ate, and fell back asleep at 8:30. Woke up a few times, but not for good until 12pm today. I don't know how many hours that is, but its a long time. I was sleeping for forever, and it really did a number to my clarity of time and date and everything.

Plus, those decisions like throwing a basketball full court for 30 minutes, and running around with no shoes came back to me in the form of sharp pains and sore, stiff muscles that I had forgotten existed.

So, I have a much greater appreciation for sleep and for rest. Don't think I'll be pulling an all-night for a while.

I'll have to post the very few pictures of this weekend on this blog when I upload them.

bee tea dubs . . . .This week I'm looking forward to my family coming to visit and spending some much needed time with them. I'm also looking forward to speaking at Vespers this week on worship, and I'm thankful for a God who is worshiped and glorified through things like knockout and laughter when we allow that to happen.

Psalm 16

Keep me safe, O God,

for in you I take refuge.

I said to the Lord, "You are my Lord;

apart from you I have no good thing."

As for the saints who are in the land,

they are the glorious ones in whom

is all my delight.

The sorrows of those will increase

who run after other gods.
I will not pour out their libations of blood

or take up their names on my lips.

Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;

you have made my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant placse;

surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the Lord always before me.

Because he is at my right hand,

I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

my body also will rest secure,

because you will not abandon me to the grave,

nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

You have made known to me the path of life;

you will fill me with joy in your presence,

with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

----

Give thanks with a grateful heart.

Come with me, and you'll be in a world of Pure Imagination.

So, it's been a long weekend and first two days of the week for sure.

This past weekend the campus ministry I'm involved in put on Dessert Theatre, which is a fundraiser during friends and family weekend to raise money for our spring break mission trip. This year's theme was Willy Wonka. We played the movie, served all you can eat dessert, and acted out/sang/danced to the songs.

It was a hit!! And although I was thoroughly exhausted after, I had a ton of fun!

Here are some inadequate pictures of the evening and some funny ones of me that I hope will bring you a laugh or two instead of thinking i'm really vain.

We had a ton of desserts!!

All made made by students...well, except those cookies that are definitely from Publix.

Some of the decorations on the stage.

Too bad there weren't pictures of the other decorations.

We had cardboard painted giant candies everywhere.

I got to see some of my friends that are retired/graduated which is always exciting!!

This is Margie. She was the BCM director my freshman and sophomore years and retired after 13 years as the director. She's 71 and a complete loon. But I love her to death and she is such a blessing in my life.



Janie (graduated last year) came to see me!!
Janie has some killer basketball skills, and sometimes I get to go to her apartment and watch Glee with her and make homemade pizza.



The students served the audience as if we were factory workers.
This is me and my awesome roommate, Ashli, getting drinks for our Wonka visitors.

I realize I haven't written about Ashli, and I should.
She is a good friend and person to live.
She puts up with my crazy.





Some of the audience. We had the place packed out!!
People were sitting in the balcony!

Here are my fabulous Juniors two stepping to a hip/hop version of 'Pure Imagination'.

Oh man.

This was the best and worst part of the evening.

Every other group did a lip dub/ choreographed dance to the movie while it was playing in the background.

We muted the movie, played some crazy audio of the song while rapping/singing the words.

Major problem: we didn't know the words.

Major problem number 2: most of us don't have rhythm or soul.

and. are. awkward.

But it was sooo funny. train wreck and i was laughing the entire time..

Um this is me rapping my portion of pure imagination

Of course, I killed it.

Naturally.

The seniors did 'I've got a Golden Ticket'

Sophomores did the Candy Man song

and we had some of our freshman volunteer to be OOMPA LOOMPAS!!!

They did amazing and definitely stole the show.

So proud of Chole, Briane, and Suzanne!

I'm partial to my Juniors though.

This group of people is so much fun. :)

And then clean-up began, with me being a little slap-happy because of lack of sleep and the excitement of one more responsibility being completed.

I was really excited to find out I was a "good egg"

To all of you haters and doubters out there. . here's the proof.

But things turned around really quickly. . .:(

Not sure what we were doing here. But this picture scares me and makes me laugh at the same time.




And, if Willy Wonka wasn't creepy enough to begin with. . .

Bee Tea Dubs, I'm really excited about this season that highlights friends and family and thanks. . .because these are the kinds of moments and people I am thankful for.