Faithful

This subject has been on my mind and heart.

Check Mate.

Whew, since I've last posted it seems like I haven't stopped for a second and half to even get online. (Minus my phone for tweets and stalking on FB mobile during drives home and lunch breaks)

What I have done this past week is grown to appreciate my stable (though temporary) home here in quaint Mt. Dora. I spend 4 days/nights in Miami on an audit last week, slept here for one night before spending the weekend in Orlando with the fam. Hotels get old quickly I've found. I'm so blessed to have a home to live in this summer, even if it's not mine.

So nice to get to hang out with them on a pretend vacation. Probably my favorite part of the whole weekend was watching us all play chess. We were exploring the hotel property on Saturday evening and found a life size chess board, and couldn't resist. My mom and sister didn't know how to play so I played with mom and dad with Karissa. We all left our cell phones in the room (upon my sister's request...as her cell phone was dead?!) and we played for almost at hour. As lame as it may sound, it was great family time that I miss more and more as we all get older. And it didn't hurt that I beat my dad at chess for the first time in my life. Such a great feeling :)

And now I'm "home" for 3 nights before I drive to Atlanta for July 4 to see one of my all time fav's Danielle. I can't wait to have some fun mixed into this summer of discipline.

Not much in depth to say. Today was probably one of my favorite days at work. I was auditing a church, and they had an orchestra camp going on so I had great background music, the two people I worked with were the best thus far with communicating and it was a phase 1, so in laymens terms there was less number crunching on excel sheets and more thinking/researching/analyzing risks of the organization (basically--i felt like what I did mattered). AND, my in-charge showed me an e-mail from a shareholder about what a great job I am doing. So yay for words of affirmation--i felt loved at work today.

Sometimes

......Sometimes I wish my head would shut down because it would give my heart a little bit of a break.

• The other day I thought to myself "hah, wouldn't it be cool to tell people I lived on the western side of an east coast town on the southern boarder of north carolina."

• Then I thought to myself, "surely when you start coming up with your own little riddles for yourself--this is a sign that you've lost it"

• I'm beginning to give up on my hopes for Africa in December. It's just not looking like a reality. Which really saddens my heart. One day, though. One day soon. Please Lord.

• I've thought a lot about how much we (I) cheapen words by our (my) constant/thoughtless/careless use of them. We (I) must really start putting more of an emphasis on saying what we (I) really mean, rather than choosing to use the easy words and causing words with so much depth/meaning become cliches. (e.g. "love")

• Tonight I heard "He's not the leavin kind" by Rascal Flatts and for the first time realized it was talking about the Lord. I'm really dense sometimes when it comes to paying attention to what I listen to.

• I think that the happiest time of my life thus far was my summer working camp.

• Its always interesting to pause for a second and think about what kind of life we have chosen for ourselves. How small choices have really big affects.

• The Edwards celebrate Father's Day like most people--with great food. . which means I wasn't very disciplined today. There have been no dramatic results, but part of discipline is sticking with it, so even though I'm dissapointed I'll be doing my workouts this week.

• This week I'll be near Fort Lauderdale on an audit. Staying in a hotel will be fun, and a different scene. . .but waking up tomorrow at 4:30 will not be. I'm excited for a change of scenery and to get to know the girl that I'm going with better.

• Today I caught myself being really judgmental in church. It's amazing how hypocritical I can be sometimes. Have patience, He's not done with me yet.

• The song below moves me every time I listen to it. My prayer tonight is that it is the case in my life no matter where I am.

The Edwards

I am currently sitting in a living room in Mt. Dora, FL (aka: middle of nowhere...on a farm) with two of the nicest/most hilarious humans on the planet, watching a lifetime original movie.

A few months ago, I would've never thought that this is what would consume my evenings, but I am so thankful that it has worked out this way (minus the lifetime movies).

Mr Ray and Mrs Joyce Edwards were members of the church I attended when I grew up in Jasper, FL. . . a similar small town in the middle of nowhere with one stop light, and no grocery store. They baby-sat me and my younger sister when we were kids, and when I heard they were in the area and I was pretty much desperate for a place to stay that I could handle I thought "there's nothing to loose." So 10 days before I had to move in, I contacted them, and they were generous enough to offer me a room in their home to stay.

They live 45 minutes away and I have to go through toll roads to get to work, but this is worth it for the wonderful friendship I've gained in the Edwards.

You have to know that this couple is in their early 70s, and that they have a passionate love for live which filters its way in practical jokes and great stories. They used to t-pee our yard on my parents birthday's . . with pink flamingo's and all kinds of tacky yard-art. And they still do that kind of thing to their friends. They laugh with each other about all kinds of things, and I'm constantly laughing with them. I don't think they realize how funny they are and that makes things all the more funny.

They love each other. I'm going to keep this from being all emotional and all, but I got to hear their story and here are the major points. They met at 18 and 19, married at 20 and 21, and had 2 kids by the time they were 23. They didn't have a lot of money and had to work hard for a lot of things. They are country people and have their hearts filled with genuine kindness. When they look at each other and laugh and re-tell the stories of the life they have built together...oh man, even for a non-romantic like myself (psh, who am I kidding) that is just beautiful to be witness to.

They have also taught me a lot: for example, the difference between a cream can and a milk can...one is half a big because of the weight of the liquid. And general cow care...I'm a slow learner of farm life, but I'm appreciating my well-rounded education.

So not only have they provided me a home, they have provided me company and food! Despite my stubborn trying to take care of myself, Mrs. Joyce has a homemade meal ready for me when I get home from work. We all sit down at a table and talk about our day...a real old fashion meal.

I love that, and I love not getting on my computer very much during the evenings, and instead spending an hour visiting before my early retirement. They have schedules and systems and I love that too, but above all they have provided a place where I can relax and break away from work and stress and that was much needed.

I love these people, and I wish I had time to share more of their stories and specifics..because I'm serious when I say they could have their own sitcom.

As I was pumping gas this evening an unkept, scraggly, skinny man walked up to the guy on the other side of the gas pump and asked if he would drive him down the road for 3 dollars. The guy pumping gas asked where the unkept man was headed and said that he had planned on driving that way anyway so no need to pay.

There was nothing special about the guy pumping gas. He looked like any other blue collar worker in a pick up truck. He didn't have on fancy clothes or look super sophisticated.

This summer, as I work this internship what I want to do with my life is forever in the back of my mind (or the forefront of my mind as the case usually is).

As I cried thinking about the kindness of the man pumping gas, it became very clear to me--

No matter what job I end up with (or go without), how much money I have (or don't have), how my family life is (or isn't)...basically no matter what my circumstances are (or aren't)...

THAT is what I want to do with my life.

Bee Tea Dubs..I know this doesn't help from a practical standpoint...but lately I've been dealing with a lot of practicality and sometimes it's overrated.

Work it out.

Just wanted to check in with you and let you know about my gym experience thus far:

Okay, so recap. . .I don't have much spare time in the day...and now an hour for gym and travel and there goes the day altogether. But I think it's worth it.

I've met with the trainer 2 times, and we've done two full body workouts on the circular machines, she's yelled at me about my eating habits and I've done some cardio on my own. It's baby stuff right now, but she's giving me a week to work out like this on my own before I do one full session with her to see what personal training would be about. Hopefully she'll wip me up into shape before no time.

In the meantime all these healthy choices are about to kill me. I didn't realize how much self-discipline living healthy requires ((note: this applies in all aspects of life))

Who knows. This isn't the first time I've tried to become physically healthier, but it is the first time I've been this public and I'm hoping that the fear of being embarrassed serves as some accountability. I guess I'm trying to use my pride in ways that can benefit me. haha.

So much more to write about, but it's already past my bedtime. I'm offtrack with the schedule and have been having a hard time staying awake at my desk. BOOOOO for working full time.

Somebody find me a job where I don't have to work.

Bee Tea Dubs. . . there are so many more things I could say about how this Blog title relates to my life right now. . .I'll save it for other posts. . .oh and I have to write about the Edwards (Joyce and Ray)