Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
What Would Have Been:
These are the last four weeks of college. . .trying to wrap my mind around that fact seems like the most impossible task. I had the great honor of being considered for senior speaker of my graduation. I found out tonight that I wasn't chosen--which kind of has a sting to it--but I am so grateful for the opportunity to be able to go through the process and to be able to digest some of the feelings that I have for this place I call home.
I took a risk, and pursued something I was interested in. And didn't get it. And that's the beauty of loss--the only way of knowing exactly how deeply I cared. I don't normally actually show what I truley want for fear of getting hurt. Vulnerability is a difficult thing to practice--but I did that and for that I am proud.
So, because I did stay up until 3:30AM writing a speech to present, I figured I wouldn't waste that lost sleep. Here is what would've been.
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"Significantly Insignificant"
Recently I have read a book by a researcher from the University of Houston, Dr. Brene Brown. Her research falls in the sometimes painfully personal topic of human emotion. In her book she discusses some of the traits she has found common in what she refers to as the “wholehearted” individual—someone who embraces authenticity and worthiness.
One of the major points she notes is the universal need for love and belonging. Dr. Brown defines belonging as “the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us.”
According to her research, we as humans try to acquire this belonging by fitting in and seeking approval but she emphasize the fact that these are not substitutes for belonging yet barriers to it. Instead, belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world.
I open with this working definition of belonging because this is what defines my Stetson Experience. Choosing to be a part of the Stetson community means choosing to be a part of something so much larger than ourselves as individuals.
And, from my experience, choosing to be a part of the community here means being embraced for exactly who we are—and challenged to be a better version of ourselves in the process.
There is an interesting dynamic that occurs when we experience belonging—we begin to see how important it is for us to be less important than the community as a whole—and how, consequently that concept creates a greater sense of self-importance.
There is an irony about gaining self-worth by making ourselves less.
In business, one might use synergy as an example of this kind of anomaly.
Synergy occurs when the parts working together produce a result not obtainable by the parts independently.
That the different functions come together to offer their gifts to a business that can in turn create a much larger presence than any single accountant or marketing analyst could individually.
---
I realize that, in a room filled with prestigious music school faculty and students, I take a great risk making this next example. I acknowledge that fact and do so anyway.
In music, the grace note occurs as notes of short duration before the sounding of the relatively longer-lasting note which immediately follows them.
The grace notes can be considered harmonically subservient to the longer note which it precedes.
However, in some pieces, it serves as the only way to differentiate between notes and is crucial to artwork as a whole.
The University developed a motto two years ago that it uses in its marketing materials—the theme “Dare to Be Significant”
What a challenge to all of us—not to just dream to be successful but to yearn to make a difference—to matter in our world. I wholeheartedly agree with this challenge and what it means the University believes its students and faculty can achieve.
I do, however, want to add something to this statement.
I think we would all agree that a college graduation is a significant event in our lives. But with every significant moment, comes a multitude of insignificant ones that brought us there.
When we look back on our collegiate experience I doubt we will remember much about this ceremony.
I doubt we will remember the speakers or what they said, myself included.
We will, however, remember what are seemingly insignificant moments
The 2AM conversations with our roommate about faith, reason, and politics—things that should never have been discussed that late.
The afternoons spend reading in the Quad, and being okay with all of the interruptions of friends as they passed by
And countless other times where we have experienced what it means to belong—what it means to be a part of something bigger than ourselves—to have been significantly insignificant.
When we remember our time at Stetson we will find that what has been significant to us about this experience, was not bought with money, fame, wisdom, or power—(although there has been a significant amount of money invested here.)
But instead, the important things have been felt—and the significance has come from an embrace of the present
Some here today may have significant gifts and talents that can lead to large profit margins and life-changing new products.
Let us not limit our ability to succeed by overlooking the value that comes from working together.
---
Our lives are a culmination of notes of different lengths—some pieces have a great rhythm and others, a strong chorus.
We must not forget the grace notes that have served to accent the more prominent periods in our lives.
---
So, as we go on our separate paths, let us dare to be significant.
But, in doing so, let us dare to embrace the beauty of the moment—as insignificant as it may seem.
Let us not forget the significance of insignificance.
I took a risk, and pursued something I was interested in. And didn't get it. And that's the beauty of loss--the only way of knowing exactly how deeply I cared. I don't normally actually show what I truley want for fear of getting hurt. Vulnerability is a difficult thing to practice--but I did that and for that I am proud.
So, because I did stay up until 3:30AM writing a speech to present, I figured I wouldn't waste that lost sleep. Here is what would've been.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Significantly Insignificant"
Recently I have read a book by a researcher from the University of Houston, Dr. Brene Brown. Her research falls in the sometimes painfully personal topic of human emotion. In her book she discusses some of the traits she has found common in what she refers to as the “wholehearted” individual—someone who embraces authenticity and worthiness.
One of the major points she notes is the universal need for love and belonging. Dr. Brown defines belonging as “the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us.”
According to her research, we as humans try to acquire this belonging by fitting in and seeking approval but she emphasize the fact that these are not substitutes for belonging yet barriers to it. Instead, belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world.
I open with this working definition of belonging because this is what defines my Stetson Experience. Choosing to be a part of the Stetson community means choosing to be a part of something so much larger than ourselves as individuals.
And, from my experience, choosing to be a part of the community here means being embraced for exactly who we are—and challenged to be a better version of ourselves in the process.
There is an interesting dynamic that occurs when we experience belonging—we begin to see how important it is for us to be less important than the community as a whole—and how, consequently that concept creates a greater sense of self-importance.
There is an irony about gaining self-worth by making ourselves less.
In business, one might use synergy as an example of this kind of anomaly.
Synergy occurs when the parts working together produce a result not obtainable by the parts independently.
That the different functions come together to offer their gifts to a business that can in turn create a much larger presence than any single accountant or marketing analyst could individually.
---
I realize that, in a room filled with prestigious music school faculty and students, I take a great risk making this next example. I acknowledge that fact and do so anyway.
In music, the grace note occurs as notes of short duration before the sounding of the relatively longer-lasting note which immediately follows them.
The grace notes can be considered harmonically subservient to the longer note which it precedes.
However, in some pieces, it serves as the only way to differentiate between notes and is crucial to artwork as a whole.
The University developed a motto two years ago that it uses in its marketing materials—the theme “Dare to Be Significant”
What a challenge to all of us—not to just dream to be successful but to yearn to make a difference—to matter in our world. I wholeheartedly agree with this challenge and what it means the University believes its students and faculty can achieve.
I do, however, want to add something to this statement.
I think we would all agree that a college graduation is a significant event in our lives. But with every significant moment, comes a multitude of insignificant ones that brought us there.
When we look back on our collegiate experience I doubt we will remember much about this ceremony.
I doubt we will remember the speakers or what they said, myself included.
We will, however, remember what are seemingly insignificant moments
The 2AM conversations with our roommate about faith, reason, and politics—things that should never have been discussed that late.
The afternoons spend reading in the Quad, and being okay with all of the interruptions of friends as they passed by
And countless other times where we have experienced what it means to belong—what it means to be a part of something bigger than ourselves—to have been significantly insignificant.
When we remember our time at Stetson we will find that what has been significant to us about this experience, was not bought with money, fame, wisdom, or power—(although there has been a significant amount of money invested here.)
But instead, the important things have been felt—and the significance has come from an embrace of the present
Some here today may have significant gifts and talents that can lead to large profit margins and life-changing new products.
Let us not limit our ability to succeed by overlooking the value that comes from working together.
---
Our lives are a culmination of notes of different lengths—some pieces have a great rhythm and others, a strong chorus.
We must not forget the grace notes that have served to accent the more prominent periods in our lives.
---
So, as we go on our separate paths, let us dare to be significant.
But, in doing so, let us dare to embrace the beauty of the moment—as insignificant as it may seem.
Let us not forget the significance of insignificance.
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