i've moved home for the summer.
the relization that there is no life for me at "home" occured about 5 hours after arrival.
im ready for school to start.
until then. work.
like the rest of my life won't be enough, full time work decided to rear its ugly head early this summer.
i work at a pharmacy.
probably one of the most stressful choices.
i know.
my work experiences:
the first closing shift i worked we caught a lady trying to fordge a script (i also learned that people in the industry use 'script' sort for persription. . . i guess its cooler or somthing. hah.)
the second closing shift i worked the pharmacy across the street got robbed.
after that, i learned not to be suprised at anything.
i've had a guy that was probably in his late 40s ask me out on a date through the drive thru.
more about this guy: i could smell him through the drive through.
and it wasn't even the cheep cologne smell.
it was raw body odor.
also, he had to dig in his pockets for an hour to afford the 33 cent copay on his perscription...which he paid for in mostly pennies.
i know the previous discription made me sound judgemental and snoody.
but the guy was a genuine creeper. he wouldn't take no for an answer.
the whole time i was thinking. wow. i bet i'd really enjoy being taken to mcdonalds. if he could afford that.
and beforehand i'd have to invest in some of that cream that the emblamers wear under thier noses when they are doing an autopsy. even that may not take back the smell.
--
i've witnessed true insanity.
a lady came in asking where the adult pull-ups were. i directed her to the depends isle.
then she became very confused.
i felt bad.
so i walked over to provide some friendly customer service.
little did i know.
she explained that her husband usually picked the diapers out for her but that he was ill and so she had to buy them herself.
we discussed size for a while.
im not sure how you're supposed to go about sizing up some old lady's butt, and then tell her that you'd reccomend a large.
after that task was completed she rememebered she had wanted a specific kind.
i didn't understand her explaination of the product.
and heres where the fun begins.
she then proceeds to drop her drawers to show me the kind she was currently wearing.
that way i'd get a better idea of what kind she needed.
i looked around for a more experienced worker, a supervisor, any other human who could rescue me; who knew of any way to stop the insanity.
no one was around; it was like i was stuck in this box of invisibility; with everyone around me oblivious to my current doom.
my mind was going 90mph.
i told the lady that it wasn't nessesary.
she didn't lisen.
i got mooned by an old woman my within the first 3 weeks of work.
i must be the luckiest person alive.
its gotten better lately though.
today i rang up an old man (who had a bluetooth device in his ear. . . the oddest combination i've ever seen) who probably caused me to get tipsy by only smelling his breath.
it didn't even phase me.
i've learned to understand half of what the indian pharmacist says.
and im pretty sure she doesn't hate me as much as everyone else.
i've made a few friends. including a girl my age.
this might not be a big deal to a lot of people; but considering this is my only contact with people that are within 20 years of my age, im astounded.
i've also gotten 3 paychecks within the past week. big ones at that.
and im starting to get the hang of all the crazyness. . . and the crazies themselves.
it makes life interesting.
so even though everynight when i drag in after a 10 hour shift, my feet feeling like they are about to literally fall off (if i can feel them at all), i am glad i have a job that keeps me from wanting to shoot myself of boredom.
and bee tea dubs. . . theres no medication for this mental illness.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
sunlight, heavenly sunlight
i can really appreciate the first few days of spring/summer (i put both of these in a single category because in florida theres really no difference..its just hot)
i think i like the first few days because i have forgotten what it feels like to sit outside and soak up the warm heat, with a nice breeze and the smell of the sprouting flowers and trees.
its fresh, rejuvinating, and relaxing.
those first few days before you remember that florida in the summer can be compared to wrapping yourself in alluminum foil and sitting in an oven at 400 degrees farenhiet.
those days that make you want to hope in your friends jeep, roll down the windows and blare jack johnson while driving on the backroads hair flying in the wind.
the funny thing about when you're driving with the windows down, it becomes harder to breath with all the wind pushing against your face. but when you do inhale, the breath is so deep if feels like you're breathing in from your toes.
not hot enough to work up a sweat but just enough that you feel cosy sitting outside if cutoffs and a tank top.
nothing can replace those first fews days.
when the scortching heat of mid-July rolls around we all forget the apprecation of the florida sunshine state. we complain because the ac isn't working properly, and count down the days until fall will bring its chilly weather.
we pray for the thunderstorm 30 minutes showers in the afternoon to cool us down after playing outside.
but those first few days are care-free. we all get burned because we forget to put on adequate sunscreen, yet we are thankful to at least have had the opportunity to lay out and listen to the bees buzzing around.
sunglasses of all sizes, colors, and fashions appear after their hibernation of winter.
ladies begin to show much more skin as the climate changes..much to the excitment of the onlookers.
though im excited for the summer, im very pleased with these first few days of spring.
and bee tea dubs. . . im breakin' out the tanning lotion.
i think i like the first few days because i have forgotten what it feels like to sit outside and soak up the warm heat, with a nice breeze and the smell of the sprouting flowers and trees.
its fresh, rejuvinating, and relaxing.
those first few days before you remember that florida in the summer can be compared to wrapping yourself in alluminum foil and sitting in an oven at 400 degrees farenhiet.
those days that make you want to hope in your friends jeep, roll down the windows and blare jack johnson while driving on the backroads hair flying in the wind.
the funny thing about when you're driving with the windows down, it becomes harder to breath with all the wind pushing against your face. but when you do inhale, the breath is so deep if feels like you're breathing in from your toes.
not hot enough to work up a sweat but just enough that you feel cosy sitting outside if cutoffs and a tank top.
nothing can replace those first fews days.
when the scortching heat of mid-July rolls around we all forget the apprecation of the florida sunshine state. we complain because the ac isn't working properly, and count down the days until fall will bring its chilly weather.
we pray for the thunderstorm 30 minutes showers in the afternoon to cool us down after playing outside.
but those first few days are care-free. we all get burned because we forget to put on adequate sunscreen, yet we are thankful to at least have had the opportunity to lay out and listen to the bees buzzing around.
sunglasses of all sizes, colors, and fashions appear after their hibernation of winter.
ladies begin to show much more skin as the climate changes..much to the excitment of the onlookers.
though im excited for the summer, im very pleased with these first few days of spring.
and bee tea dubs. . . im breakin' out the tanning lotion.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
A seed and a season.
a tree is planted.
its nurtured with plenty of sun and water.
It is given fertilizer, to encourage it to grow.
to grow to become healthy and strong
to grow to shelter many other plants,
and to breath fresh air into the atmosphere.
and it does.
it grows, tall and thick, and strong.
it resisits countless hours in the wind,
and rain.
and times where it believes it will die of thirst from lack of water.
it goes through spring. where it blooms.
it bears fruit. it shades the earth with its large leaves and
limbs.
it grows, and greens, and is beautiful.
many other things look up to the tree for direction,
or inspiration.
but spring turns to summer.
and summer the tree is relied on more than any other season
for its cool shade and protection.
other beings climb on its limbs
but the tree stands strong.
the tree is illuminated in the sunlight,
though sunlight can be damaging..the tree is strong.
but summer turns to fall.
fall brings lots of changes to the tree.
the leaves change from green to different shades of orange, red, and yellow.
the autum breeze eventually blows most of the leaves off of the tree,
so that the tree is bald and vulnerable.
and open to the scrunity of its surrounding environment.
during fall, the tree goes through changes that make it look more beautiful and changes that make it look ugly and neglected.
but fall turns to winter.
winter is harmful to the tree.
the tree no longer looks strong and lush,
but instead alone and empty.
the tree is often mistaken for dead.
but the tree is not.
you see, the tree's most important part are its roots.
and its roots were established strong, healthy.
with plenty of sunlight, water, and fertilizer.
and through the wind and the emptiness and the cold, the tree relies on these roots.
and the roots are its anchor.
and the roots are its strength, far more important than its outer beauty, or its asthetic value.
bee tea dubs, im relying on my roots.
its nurtured with plenty of sun and water.
It is given fertilizer, to encourage it to grow.
to grow to become healthy and strong
to grow to shelter many other plants,
and to breath fresh air into the atmosphere.
and it does.
it grows, tall and thick, and strong.
it resisits countless hours in the wind,
and rain.
and times where it believes it will die of thirst from lack of water.
it goes through spring. where it blooms.
it bears fruit. it shades the earth with its large leaves and
limbs.
it grows, and greens, and is beautiful.
many other things look up to the tree for direction,
or inspiration.
but spring turns to summer.
and summer the tree is relied on more than any other season
for its cool shade and protection.
other beings climb on its limbs
but the tree stands strong.
the tree is illuminated in the sunlight,
though sunlight can be damaging..the tree is strong.
but summer turns to fall.
fall brings lots of changes to the tree.
the leaves change from green to different shades of orange, red, and yellow.
the autum breeze eventually blows most of the leaves off of the tree,
so that the tree is bald and vulnerable.
and open to the scrunity of its surrounding environment.
during fall, the tree goes through changes that make it look more beautiful and changes that make it look ugly and neglected.
but fall turns to winter.
winter is harmful to the tree.
the tree no longer looks strong and lush,
but instead alone and empty.
the tree is often mistaken for dead.
but the tree is not.
you see, the tree's most important part are its roots.
and its roots were established strong, healthy.
with plenty of sunlight, water, and fertilizer.
and through the wind and the emptiness and the cold, the tree relies on these roots.
and the roots are its anchor.
and the roots are its strength, far more important than its outer beauty, or its asthetic value.
bee tea dubs, im relying on my roots.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Through a Child's Eyes
So she sat back and smiled, knowing everything would be okay.
The comfort she felt was unexplainable. Better than any kind of safety she had felt before, any kind of freedom, any kind of joy.
She had no direction of where her life was going, no one had explained to her the secrets of life.
No one had given her a million dollars, and no one had offered to free her from any of her responsibilities.
But she smiled.
And knew it was okay.
She didn’t have a doubt in her mind.
She had already cried many tears, and had many more to cry.
She had learned so much, yet had so much more to learn.
Her heart had been broken and yet, it would be broken again.
She had been loved, and would be loved. She had been hated, and would be hated.
But she smiled.
People had called her names.
She had failed. She had succeeded.
But she was okay.
I wish adults could remember the trust and the loyalty of two year olds..like the one this story is based upon. I wish adults could remember to have a blind faith about their fate like children do. Children have felt pain, have been through many ‘adult’ difficulties on a much smaller level (though still traumatizing to them) and yet can bare to sit in their parents arms, smile, and have a sense that everything is going to be okay.
True, children haven’t had to face taxes, but they’ve had to deal with the bully on the playground.
They most likely haven’t had to deal with death and the reality of what scum human beings really are, but they’ve had a friend stab them in the back.
They haven’t lost their job, but they’ve been picked last for a team. Or failed to make the school talent show.
They have all the opportunity in the world and the freedom to choose whoever they want to be, yet adults in their very narrow-eyed views forget childhood and limit their perspective.
Trees can be purple in elementary school. But by high school anyone with a ‘different’ perspective are singled out and treated like misfits.
The corporate ladder is only friendly to those who conform to the unstated rules of selfishness and immoral behavior.
But children must obey their parents. Even if their parents forget to respect authority at their jobs.
Why does life have to change when you get older. Change is good. If we always had a child’s perspective about things there would be a lot of people walking around wearing plaid pants and a pink polka-dotted shirt. But some things can stand to resist change.
I worked with a group of kids at a local Boys and Girls Club a couple of months ago. I met a girl named Honesty. How ironic.
We were probably there ten minutes when she proceeded to stand on the edge of this concrete block and fall back expecting me to catch her.
She didn’t know who I was, where I was from, or why I was there.
That trust in me is something I doubt I’ll ever forget. It was so strange. And I wish it weren’t. I wish people could trust like that more often. I wish the screw-ups of this world would make that possible for us.
I kid people about never growing up. And I never will. I have promised myself to never get to old to have a good time. To never get to old and mature to make a complete idiot of myself just for a laugh or two. To never be too old for trees to be purple.
To never be too old to forget that kids are a lot smarter than people give them credit for.
I remember sitting at a table with a group of my parents friends. And listening in on their conversation (I am a bit of a nosey person) I understood all of the conversation going on and was enjoying the topic. Then I remember my mom’s friend looking at me and in her kindergarten voice saying “Kaylyn, how are you liking school? I here you are in the third grade now. You’re getting to be such a big girl now.”
I felt so insulted.
I rolled my eyes and said good and blah blah blah.
I never want to be that kind of adult.
My personal choice is to not have children. That may change, that may not. But that does not mean that I will underestimate them. And that doesn’t mean that I hate them.
They bring so much inspiration to my life.
They are two things in one: my past and my future.
How amazing is that.
It’s time for adults to start learning from the child’s perspective of life. To start investing in them and letting them invest in us as well.
It’s time for adults to take a short time and remember how it feels to be free of unspoken ‘adult codes of conduct’ and color trees purple.
And to go toga-ing through town.
Be free.
Be a child.
And bee tea dubs.. I’ll always be just a big kid.
The comfort she felt was unexplainable. Better than any kind of safety she had felt before, any kind of freedom, any kind of joy.
She had no direction of where her life was going, no one had explained to her the secrets of life.
No one had given her a million dollars, and no one had offered to free her from any of her responsibilities.
But she smiled.
And knew it was okay.
She didn’t have a doubt in her mind.
She had already cried many tears, and had many more to cry.
She had learned so much, yet had so much more to learn.
Her heart had been broken and yet, it would be broken again.
She had been loved, and would be loved. She had been hated, and would be hated.
But she smiled.
People had called her names.
She had failed. She had succeeded.
But she was okay.
I wish adults could remember the trust and the loyalty of two year olds..like the one this story is based upon. I wish adults could remember to have a blind faith about their fate like children do. Children have felt pain, have been through many ‘adult’ difficulties on a much smaller level (though still traumatizing to them) and yet can bare to sit in their parents arms, smile, and have a sense that everything is going to be okay.
True, children haven’t had to face taxes, but they’ve had to deal with the bully on the playground.
They most likely haven’t had to deal with death and the reality of what scum human beings really are, but they’ve had a friend stab them in the back.
They haven’t lost their job, but they’ve been picked last for a team. Or failed to make the school talent show.
They have all the opportunity in the world and the freedom to choose whoever they want to be, yet adults in their very narrow-eyed views forget childhood and limit their perspective.
Trees can be purple in elementary school. But by high school anyone with a ‘different’ perspective are singled out and treated like misfits.
The corporate ladder is only friendly to those who conform to the unstated rules of selfishness and immoral behavior.
But children must obey their parents. Even if their parents forget to respect authority at their jobs.
Why does life have to change when you get older. Change is good. If we always had a child’s perspective about things there would be a lot of people walking around wearing plaid pants and a pink polka-dotted shirt. But some things can stand to resist change.
I worked with a group of kids at a local Boys and Girls Club a couple of months ago. I met a girl named Honesty. How ironic.
We were probably there ten minutes when she proceeded to stand on the edge of this concrete block and fall back expecting me to catch her.
She didn’t know who I was, where I was from, or why I was there.
That trust in me is something I doubt I’ll ever forget. It was so strange. And I wish it weren’t. I wish people could trust like that more often. I wish the screw-ups of this world would make that possible for us.
I kid people about never growing up. And I never will. I have promised myself to never get to old to have a good time. To never get to old and mature to make a complete idiot of myself just for a laugh or two. To never be too old for trees to be purple.
To never be too old to forget that kids are a lot smarter than people give them credit for.
I remember sitting at a table with a group of my parents friends. And listening in on their conversation (I am a bit of a nosey person) I understood all of the conversation going on and was enjoying the topic. Then I remember my mom’s friend looking at me and in her kindergarten voice saying “Kaylyn, how are you liking school? I here you are in the third grade now. You’re getting to be such a big girl now.”
I felt so insulted.
I rolled my eyes and said good and blah blah blah.
I never want to be that kind of adult.
My personal choice is to not have children. That may change, that may not. But that does not mean that I will underestimate them. And that doesn’t mean that I hate them.
They bring so much inspiration to my life.
They are two things in one: my past and my future.
How amazing is that.
It’s time for adults to start learning from the child’s perspective of life. To start investing in them and letting them invest in us as well.
It’s time for adults to take a short time and remember how it feels to be free of unspoken ‘adult codes of conduct’ and color trees purple.
And to go toga-ing through town.
Be free.
Be a child.
And bee tea dubs.. I’ll always be just a big kid.
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