This is a totem map; a story with many important texts and life stories from my life thus far. It includes movies, books, people, and memories. They have shaped me. Its a different type of format but i think i like writing in this style best. Hopefully you wont get too confused along the way. Enjoy :)
And Bee Tea Dubs...this is me.
Mary Poppins is a story about an almost magical nanny.
She’s not the typical nanny though.
She takes the kids on adventures in sidewalk chalk, and up chimneys.
And she doesn’t take any sass from the kids either.
She’s “practically perfect in every way.”
--
My family was sitting at the dinner table on a Sunday afternoon.
I asked my parents if they knew one of my friend’s, Lindsey.
Then I asked if they knew her parents were pregnant with her before they were married.
They almost seemed shocked when I asked.
And then they wanted to know how I knew this.
It was easy I said, I knew Lindsay’s birthday, and her parents anniversary and had done the math.
I was in the first grade.
That’s when they knew I was “special”
--
My high school softball coach was the toughest person I’ve ever seen.
Her name was Mary Hale.
She was also anal-retentive, but that’s beside the point.
She had a schedule for every one of our practices, for every second of every practice.
We had to keep a notebook of all her handouts.
I thought she was ridiculous.
The team often commented on her rare, unemotional nature.
She was different.
--
Tomorrow When the War Began series were my favorite books in middle school
Partially because I read them in the sixth grade even though they were only supposed to be checked out to 8th graders.
John Marsden did an amazing job of creating an adventure that was original.
The story is of a group of teenagers who go on a camping trip only to come back the next day and find that their country had been invaded by troops of another country.
They gather materials, and go back to the woods and struggle to survive.
--
I learned how to drive from my granddaddy.
He is still the most patient person I know.
And he has the best old folk sayings.
I loved driving with him.
My parents would scream and shout (understandably as I probably put all of our lives at risk at one point or another)
But granddaddy would give direction in a calm manner, correcting me in a positive tone.
I always appreciated his understanding.
--
People often think I’m a shallow person because Mary Poppins is still one of my favorite movies.
But it wasn’t Julie Andrews singing and dancing that made me so intrigued with this children’s movie.
My favorite part was always when she took it to the father guy
The guy who was always trying to have his children and wife and household fit the mold of what society expects from them.
And she would do it with class.
And wit.
And intelligence
But you could tell she definitely took it to him.
Mary Poppins was a real G.
--
I just finished reading a book called Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell.
Its subtitle is “repainting the Christian faith.”
You see, my father is a pastor, and my whole family is very involved in church.
I rarely decide to tell people this, because I hate being labeled.
But nonetheless Christianity has always played a major role in my life.
I’ve gone to church, sat in numerous pews, listened to many speakers, and read a lot of devotional books.
But Rob Bell takes the cake.
His views on Christianity is different, and appeals to me.
It resonates with many things I’ve felt about church my whole life.
--
So the kids go back and camp out while their country is being invaded.
And then they are sick of hiding.
They go back and blow up lawn mowers and do other small activities to sabotage the enemy.
A couple of the teens die. And the fight to survive goes on and on.
I love the action, the thrill of having to survive by yourself, and the determination to make a difference.
--
I had a two history teachers in the eighth grade.
They were team-teachers.
I can still remember some of the lessons they taught us that year.
But what is so memorable from that class was their personality.
They had a sarcastic humor that was hilarious to me.
And they definitely had control of their classroom.
It was never a question of whether or not to do the work in that class.
I don’t think I’ve ever been that motivated by teachers before.
--
The Secret Life of Bees is my all-time favorite book.
And yes, I read it way before the movie came out.
It’s a story of a white girl who runs away from her abusive father to find more about her dead mother.
She ends up living with these three African American sisters.
Who also make honey.
One of the sisters is a little “slow”.
But it is this sister who often gives the most profound statements.
--
My granddaddy turns 80 this year.
He still works part time and he and my granny take care of themselves.
When I go visit him I always feel inspired to do great things with my life.
He believes I am the smartest person in the world.
He believes in me.
--
Beauty and the Beast was my other favorite as a kid.
I loved Belle.
She was able to find something in the “beast” that no one else was able to.
She looked past outward appearance, and was concerned with the deeper individual that he was.
I think that her compassion and refusal to believe what the world did about the beast is something that always helped shape who I became.
--
In his first chapter, Rob Bell takes his readers back by opening up their ideas to more than what they’ve blindly believed for decades.
He emphasizes that Christianity is an evolving faith, not something that should be stuck on old traditions.
I’ve always thought Christianity and church should be more focused on Christ’s love, and not the long list of things people shouldn’t be or do.
Rob Bell makes you look at different angles, makes you step out of your comfort zone, and goes against the grain.
--
The year Coach Hale was there, we went to the state sweet sixteen.
Her perfectionism paid off.
I think I grew accustomed to her way of doing things, and I think I became a better person because of it.
She didn’t accept anything but the best in every one of her players, and excuses weren’t options.
Too bad she retired after my freshman year.
--
I was too hyperactive as a kid.
Always competitive.
I had to win.
I guess that’s why my parent’s enrolled me in almost every sport imaginable.
It was a way to make me calm at night.
I knew in my mind that I could do anything a boy could do, and was determined to beat them at sports to prove it.
--
Mary Poppins was classy.
She was intelligent, witty, and respected by all.
And never forgot her manners.
She challenged the mother to become more than just a rich, woman’s club member with no responsibilities.
She was a catalyst for change in the family.
Nothing was the same after she left.
--
Eventually the abusive father finds Lilly with the three women who make honey.
And there is a confrontation.
But instead of giving into her father like she usually does, Lilly takes a stand.
Being with these women have made her stronger; have shaped to into an independent person with her own thoughts and ideas.
She knows she deserves better than her father.
She has self respect.
--
One famous thing my granddaddy has always said to me is that
“I am no better than anyone else. But that to also remember, no one else is any better than me.”
That has so much truth.
It is a way to keep yourself out of the mindset that you are the greatest thing since sliced bread.
But it’s also a way to remind yourself that you have as much worth as the next person.
When people told me I couldn’t do things, this saying would always repeat itself in the back of my head and remind me that I could do it.
--
The first concert I went to when I was in the 8th grade, with some high school girls.
They were cool to me, because they honestly didn’t care what people thought about them, and I always wished that I could develop that apathy for other’s opinions.
We went to a Relient K concert.
They are a Christian band, and looking back it really wasn’t a big deal.
But then, riding down to Orlando on interstate with the windows down and the music loud I felt “cool.”
I felt independent.
I felt free.
--
I also loved that Belle totally rejected Gaston.
The burley, over-confident, man’s man.
But that is not attractive to her at all.
And it drives Gaston crazy.
And I loved it.
She didn’t need that controlling, dominant husband figure.
She said ‘thanks, but no thanks.”
--
I was the kid who never had to be told to clean up her room.
I’ve always been narcotic about having straight, clean lines, and about being an independent person.
The most annoying thing in the world to me is intelligent girls who act like they don’t understand things to get attention.
Frankly, it pisses me off.
And I’ve always been weird about endearing terms like “sweetie or honey”
To me, they sound almost condescending.
And my other pet peave is being talked down to.
I’m never in the mood to be patronized.
--
In about the middle of the book of Velvet Elvis the Rob Bell talks about letting go of your super person.
Of whomever you think you “have” to be.
Because he says everyone has this idea of who they need to be, and that they have to be perfect at it.
They have to have “the” job, and “the” GPA, and “the” friends, and “the” house, and “the” car and “the perfect family life.
They have to have it all.
And that’s just not realistic.
So we have to learn to “kill” our super-person.
--
One of my favorite sports memories is when I hit my grand slam my senior year.
Bottom of the 6th.
1-3 count.
We were down by 2.
Bases loaded.
Deep Breath.
Swing as hard as you can.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
OH MY GOD.
I was on top of the world.
--
At the end of The Secret Life of Bees, Lilly is narrating the scene as her father is driving away and she is looking back to the porch with the honey women.
She talks about even though her mother is dead; she has been blessed with many mothers.
Many influential women who have help shape her, who have inspired her to grow, to become independent, who have disciplined her, have nurtured her, and who have been there for her to lean on.
She has had a whole life full of “mothers.”
--
My favorite of all the comedians I’ve seen is Kathy Griffin.
She’s blunt, bold, and hilarious.
She has a humor that is raw, and doesn’t care what anyone care what anyone else thinks.
My favorite parts are when she does imitations of the “A” list celebrities.
--
I would prefer to think of myself as determined.
Rather than stubborn.
I have decided to quit liking certain things when they became popular.
Just to be different.
My parents told me that they went to a counselor when I was younger because I was so strong-willed as an infant. I said “no” too much for even a two year old.
But the counselor said that it was a good thing.
That I would remain strong-willed as a teenager and be less likely to fold to peer pressure.
--
I loved that my Granddaddy’s opinion of me enabled me to become whomever I wanted to.
He would always tell me to reach for the stars.
And for some reason when it came from him it would be far less cliché.
I loved the freedom.
The choice.
--
Kathy Griffin’s show is called the “D-List” celebrity.
She highlights that she is not the most popular person in the world.
And she loves that.
She doesn’t want to be in the in crowd. Because honestly their lives are over-glorified to begin with.
She’s an outsider.
An independent thinking, not-afraid-to-be-herself outsider.
And it’s a likeable quality.
--
My favorite character in the Bee book was the middle Honey sister.
She was strong-willed, quick-tempered, and a genuine smart ass.
But I could relate to her fear of vulnerability.
Because that’s why she had to be so strong.
That’s why she kept rejecting the man who was perfect for her and who proposed to her.
--
This theme of being strong,
Intelligent,
Independent,
Witty,
Self-sufficient,
And my own has repeated itself over and over again in my life.
--
My other favorite children’s book series is The Series of Unfortunate Events.
I loved the oldest sibling who always knew how to take care of the younger two, and who had a plan for everything.
Violet was her name. She often sacrificed her safety for her brother and sister.
I saw that she was strong.
--
All of my favorite movies have had similar themes.
Fried Green Tomatoes—a story of a very strong woman, who was different, but who remained true to herself and her friends.
Pretty Woman—a story of a woman who was afraid to be out of her comfort zone, who was capable of change, but who was herself no matter what environment she was in.
V for Vendetta—who’s main character decides to take on the upmost tortures to stand up for what she believes in.
Little Miss Sunshine—the story of a girl who redefines the “beauty” pageant.
Hairspray—A girl who crosses boundaries, and steps on toes to get her point across.
And the list goes on and on.
--
The music I’ve loved
Pink’s Stupid Girl song and Rockstar.
Aretha Franklin’s Respect.
--
My best friends have always been strong, loyal, intelligent, hard-working women who I could depend on and trust.
--
I am Belle, looking past the outward appearance of people, and going against the popular opinion.
--
I am Mary Poppins, using wit and intelligence to cause changes in people’s lives.
--
I am Rob Bell, redefining beliefs that are simply traditions repeated out of ritual.
--
I am the middle honey sister, scared of vulnerability.
--
I am Violet, trying to be brave for other people.
--
I am Pink, telling all those girls that have to act helpless or like whores to kiss my grits.
--
I am Kathy Griffin, being bold, and out there, and redefining what a typical woman is. In contrast to the polite, mild-mannered, gentle female figure.
--
I am the girl who felt on indescribable when she hit a grand slam to help her team win a game.
I am the girl who loves it when her granddaddy tells her that she can rule the world.
I am the girl who is stubborn, and does things just to spite people sometimes.
I am the girl who is hyperactive, loves to win, and is annoyed with people who act like they’re stupid.
--
I am all these things together.
I am me.
