This semester has been one of me constantly asking myself, and asking the Lord what am I supposed to be doing? Am I called to be an accountant? Really? Why would the Lord give me desires of ministering overseas and to students at camp, if my purpose was to sit in a corporation and do taxes?
Or, am I being selfish. What if I am called to minister to my co-workers, to people who don't have much respect for those who aren't academic in their field of study. What if I am meant to live my life working a secular job and allowing the Lord to use my skills in accounting to glorify Him? Am I running from that call because I think it's boring, and difficult?
I've just started reading "Is God Calling Me" by Jeff Iorg. I found the book on my bookshelf, and remembered I had never read it. Dr. Iorg defines a call as "a profound impression from God that establishes parameters for your life and can be altered only by a subsequent, superseding impression from God."
Yea, he's a little wordy and likes to impress people with his vocab, but basically what the good Dr. is saying is that God leads us, pushes us, directs us, shows us, urges us tons of times but that a call is a rare event that is profound. He goes on to talk about the parameters that being called sets, and that this call can't be changed without another, different call from the Lord.
Dr. Iorg mainly focuses on the calling to serve in Ministry Leadership and then the specific call to ministry assignment.
But we, as Christians, are all called to serve others and share the gospel.
"I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit--just as you were called to one hope when you were called--one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. "
-Ephesians 4:1-5
So, I brought the question up to my small group last night--and I love how the Lord is so sovereign--always. It seemed as though the question related to everyone in the room in a special way. (unfortunately some of this is secondhand because I had to leave early)...
I had two new students there that I had been praying for, and inviting for several weeks. They seemed to connect and shared their stories about how they felt called to specific things and how recently both of them changed majors.
My good friend, Jessica, shared about her very recent call. My friend feels called to missions and I am so happy for her. She has been walking around bubbly for a few weeks about this, and I am excited to see what the Lord does with her enthusiasm.
My small group really deserves a blog of its own. . .the last few weeks we've had some really deep, meaningful discussions about things like Grace and Justice. If you knew the people, you would never expect that they would come together and connect. But it's SO beautiful. I feel as though sometimes I get so focused on my small piece of this world that I forget that the Lord's kingdom is so vast, and His people are all so different. And we all can come together with a common unity. And that is what I have felt my small group has been like the last few weeks. So many differences but they all serve to make the group better.
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We are all serving, loving, and attempting to live a life worthy of our call.
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So where that leaves me, I'm not sure. I got good sleep last night and woke up today feeling refreshed for the first time in a long time. I still don't know what's going to happen and what the Lord wants me to do. But I know that He knows and that's enough for me right now. I'm thankful for my small group and the love He shows me through them, and His patience with this slow American who likes to know things and have a firm grasp on reality.
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Today He gave me this gift on Pandora, and I'm copying the lyrics. Sovereign. Always.
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None But Jesus, Hillsong
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In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored
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When you call I won't refuse
Each new day again I'll choose
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There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise
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In the chaos, in confusion
I know You're Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
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When You call I won't delay
This my song through all my days
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All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore
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Bee Tea Dubs, my phone is off of silent so I'm listening and waiting for the call.
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