True Life: Don't let your Dreams be Dreams

Well, I want to keep this short. Mostly because I have an awesome book sitting beside me that's calling my name. And also because I'll probably go long, but at least I've made it known that I wanted to keep this short. It's not like I'm starting off by saying "I hope to make this a long dissertation on the subject whereby wasting your time and being conceded enough to think that long rants of mine are worth reading. (whew)

I found a card in the store the other day: "You're on the right road if you're happy when you're lost." Wow did it really speak to me. There are so many moments thus far (in my short existence) where things have happened that I didn't think would fall on the "planned" path of my life. Friendships, experiences, obstacles, pain, travel, adventure, etc.

Most of those things have turned out to be life-altering--mostly for the better.

You're on the right road if you're happy when you're lost speaks about the moment. The joy of the journey, not the stress of figuring out where you're going.

As I get more adjusted to my adult life, (or the fake summer I'm having of it) it's harder to remember to dream. As I prepare for my final year of school (in the traditional setting) my mind shifts to the practical, to the planned, to the typical "adult" mindset which considers bills, and living situations, and family, and career...and less on "I want to back-pack Europe, write a book, and get another tattoo" (mom--those were just examples, no need to fret. I'm just sticking with my one)

I saw this quote on a pillow in the store as well: "Sometimes on your way to one dream you get lost and find a better one."

I want to commit to never stop chasing my dreams. It becomes harder to remain a dreamer as the practicalities of this adult life become more consuming. But I know it's possible. I know it's possible because I see hints of it in the lives of my friends. In books that I read, and when I look myself square in the face I know that above a lot of other things I'm stubborn.

It's going to take more than adulthood to squelch the wide-eyed child-like dreamer in me. And while I'll adjust to this new life, I get to enjoy being happy whilst I'm lost.

Bee Tea Dubs..."You're on the right road if you're happy when you're lost"

True Life: Kaylyn Is Old

All summer I have joked around about being old, growing up, and leaving my youth in only memories...mostly because I'm melodramatic, but lately I've been getting scared at how accurate I may have been:

Signs of pre-mature aging:

1. Every night without fail, I go to bed by 10:00pm. This has started including weekends. Friday night I was so tired I went to bed at 9:45. The 70-year-old's I'm living with stayed up that night until almost midnight watching a movie.

2. I've grown an appreciation for the news/current events, I'm listening to NPR in the morning, and checking the Wall Street Journal as a secondary news source. My days of using Entertainment Tonight as a source of current events are over.

3. Auto-tuned music gets on my nerves. (Maybe this isn't a sign of aging, but of good taste.) Lately, all of the top 40 songs sound the same to me...and I dislike them.

3a.(The exception to the rule is "Moves like Jagger" by Maroon 5...for some reason I really like the song..mostly because it makes me dance and whistle. Judge away.)

4. Sticking with the theme of music, this morning I caught myself listening to the jazz station on my radio because it was relaxing to me. Frank Sinatra was playing and I was loving it. Oh, hello mid 40s, I've missed you...since apparently I'm now 70 years +)

5. I find myself talking about the weather more and more...and in natural conversation.

6. I pack my lunch everyday. The same thing.

7. While eating lunch, I read a book. That's right, not only am I old I am old and sad. I'm one of those ladies who eat and read by themselves because their family grew up and left them in a home and all their friends are dead. Except I still have color in my hair that is not white, gray, or non-existent. (My apologies for the unnecessarily depressing description there.)

8. I drink decaffeinated tea because I'm worried that caffeine will keep me awake at night.

9. Along the same lines...some mornings I wouldn't make it without a cup of coffee.

10. My hobbies include card writing, reading (the book is awesome..."The Help"--movie is coming out next month..and I'm excited) and sleeping. Sleeping is my favorite part followed by card writing.

11. My weekend activities include: the gym, grocery shopping; budgeting; car maintenance and sleep.

12. I wake up by 8:30 on Saturday Mornings. And my first thought is usually the laundry I need to start.

13. I am an ironing pro.

14. I find the computer less and less attractive. (I think this has to do with the fact that I'm forced to stare at one for 8+ hours a day as it is)

And believe me there are more...but I don't care to bore you anymore than I probably already have. The truth is...I am old. But at least I can find some humor in it...and that's the key to staying young...still having the ability to laugh at yourself.

Bee Tea Dubs...I also think it's really important to continue to dream, to have the ability to think outside what's expected.....so stay tuned. "Kaylyn is old" pt. 2 is next

"On the far side of every risk, the love of God triumphs. This is the faith that frees us to risk for the cause of God. It is not heroism, or lust for adventure, or

efforts to earn God's favor. It is a childlike faith in the triumph of God's love--

that on the other side of all our risks for the sake of righteousness, God will still

be holding us."

-John Piper

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess; for he who promised is

faithful."

-Hebrews 10:23

Haircut

So I got a new haircut and I thought I'd share a picture.

This and so much more came from my wonderful trip to Atlanta to see my great friend, Danielle.

I just realized she's known me for the most amount of time.

I guess she stuck around long enough to see me actually get a hair style for a person over the age of 8.

Faithful

This subject has been on my mind and heart.

Check Mate.

Whew, since I've last posted it seems like I haven't stopped for a second and half to even get online. (Minus my phone for tweets and stalking on FB mobile during drives home and lunch breaks)

What I have done this past week is grown to appreciate my stable (though temporary) home here in quaint Mt. Dora. I spend 4 days/nights in Miami on an audit last week, slept here for one night before spending the weekend in Orlando with the fam. Hotels get old quickly I've found. I'm so blessed to have a home to live in this summer, even if it's not mine.

So nice to get to hang out with them on a pretend vacation. Probably my favorite part of the whole weekend was watching us all play chess. We were exploring the hotel property on Saturday evening and found a life size chess board, and couldn't resist. My mom and sister didn't know how to play so I played with mom and dad with Karissa. We all left our cell phones in the room (upon my sister's request...as her cell phone was dead?!) and we played for almost at hour. As lame as it may sound, it was great family time that I miss more and more as we all get older. And it didn't hurt that I beat my dad at chess for the first time in my life. Such a great feeling :)

And now I'm "home" for 3 nights before I drive to Atlanta for July 4 to see one of my all time fav's Danielle. I can't wait to have some fun mixed into this summer of discipline.

Not much in depth to say. Today was probably one of my favorite days at work. I was auditing a church, and they had an orchestra camp going on so I had great background music, the two people I worked with were the best thus far with communicating and it was a phase 1, so in laymens terms there was less number crunching on excel sheets and more thinking/researching/analyzing risks of the organization (basically--i felt like what I did mattered). AND, my in-charge showed me an e-mail from a shareholder about what a great job I am doing. So yay for words of affirmation--i felt loved at work today.

Sometimes

......Sometimes I wish my head would shut down because it would give my heart a little bit of a break.

• The other day I thought to myself "hah, wouldn't it be cool to tell people I lived on the western side of an east coast town on the southern boarder of north carolina."

• Then I thought to myself, "surely when you start coming up with your own little riddles for yourself--this is a sign that you've lost it"

• I'm beginning to give up on my hopes for Africa in December. It's just not looking like a reality. Which really saddens my heart. One day, though. One day soon. Please Lord.

• I've thought a lot about how much we (I) cheapen words by our (my) constant/thoughtless/careless use of them. We (I) must really start putting more of an emphasis on saying what we (I) really mean, rather than choosing to use the easy words and causing words with so much depth/meaning become cliches. (e.g. "love")

• Tonight I heard "He's not the leavin kind" by Rascal Flatts and for the first time realized it was talking about the Lord. I'm really dense sometimes when it comes to paying attention to what I listen to.

• I think that the happiest time of my life thus far was my summer working camp.

• Its always interesting to pause for a second and think about what kind of life we have chosen for ourselves. How small choices have really big affects.

• The Edwards celebrate Father's Day like most people--with great food. . which means I wasn't very disciplined today. There have been no dramatic results, but part of discipline is sticking with it, so even though I'm dissapointed I'll be doing my workouts this week.

• This week I'll be near Fort Lauderdale on an audit. Staying in a hotel will be fun, and a different scene. . .but waking up tomorrow at 4:30 will not be. I'm excited for a change of scenery and to get to know the girl that I'm going with better.

• Today I caught myself being really judgmental in church. It's amazing how hypocritical I can be sometimes. Have patience, He's not done with me yet.

• The song below moves me every time I listen to it. My prayer tonight is that it is the case in my life no matter where I am.