The Power of Vulnerability

This lady goes on my list of real gansta's. Best twenty minutes of my day so far. . . .

If the video isn't embedded then click HERE.

I'm sitting outside her small group right now, and listening to her invest in people she will soon leave to become a new bride.

She invests, although she could be doing many other things--devoting work to her coursework, enjoying her last few weeks with close friends, spending time preparing for her wedding and move to the great state of Texas and graduate school/seminary. (all at once)

She has invested in these members of her small group and in my life as well.

Claire.

A fun story: we met on our very first day at Stetson. We were in an orientation group together and after a strange encounter with another student who thought that we knew each other, we decided to exchange numbers and then never spoke to each other again for almost two years.

Funny how things work. She's still in my phone as Claire (focus).

So fast forward two years and we are reconnected through CCF. And somehow we begin these random late night jam sessions where we talk and cry and laugh and sing and she shares with me her beautiful voice and even more beautiful way of being able to listen to what feels like hours and hours of my junk--big and small.

Claire relates well. She makes it a point to demonstrate a place of understanding before ever offering a reply. this means more than she'll ever know. and has proved a great part of her ministry to me and to others.

I'm excited to see these changes in her life, even though selfishly I'm so sad that she'll be leaving me for texas....who moves from Florida to texas?!

I could write so much more. but I'll choose to go spend some time with her instead.

bee tea dubs...I'm so thankful for your continued friendship, guidance and sarcastic banter.

Short 2

My favorite part of the weekend by far was tennis with my dad. I got home on Friday and because my dad has Friday's off we got some quality time together. This is my dad [ignore the fact that we were looking at different cameras...we're silly people]

And tennis wasn't awesome because of our fancy tennis skills and moves, or our athletic ability in general, but for a long time I didn't take advantage of the blessing of a close relationship with my dad and I'm thankful that the Lord is gracious to me in allowing me second changes. [and 50th chances]

And, the best part of it all was inviting a boy who was waiting on the town bus to join us. I can't remember his name [a trait I get from my dad] but he was 5 and he was awesome.

I just love, love, love working with that age..it reminds me of a lot of wonderful things humans forget with age. Anyway, I got to play tennis with that kid and he got to run around like crazy. Fun for everyone.

[Affectionately and Originally] entitled: Short 1

I broke down and drank a pumpkin latte tonight. I enjoyed it, especially since the weather was conduce to a warm beverage tonight. However, I can thank it for the fact that I'm still alive and awake right now [and not in the productive sort of way, where I'm getting lots of work done] but more so in the random blog kind of way.

This weekend I read Ellen Degenerous' book, "Seriously...I'm Kidding" Easy read, but a good one. I so, SO enjoyed the insight and laughter that comedians bring. Sometimes it's good to be a little light-hearted... especially with a bunch of heavy-hearted stuff in the world. Here's an excerpt from the last chapter:

"Contribute to the world. Help people. Help one person. Help someone cross the street today. Help someone with directions unless you have a terrible sense of direction. Help someone who's trying to help you. Just help. Make an impact. Show someone you care. Say yes instead of no. Say something nice. Smile. Make eye contact. Hug. Kiss. Get naked. Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying "I can't tell if that person is laughing or crying but either way they seem crazy, let's walk faster." Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling. Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it's different from what your neighbors believe in and different from what your parents believe in. Stay true to yourself. Have your own opinion. Don't worry about what people say about you or think about you. let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying.

While I don't take Ellen as the source of authority in my life I liked what she said.

regret

You know that feeling when you're forgetting something? It probably means you did. Like coffee at Boston's with girls that you don't get to have many conversations with--real conversations anyway.




That's a sucky feeling for sure.

Today I'm forgetting beautiful weather, wonderful conversations and nice deep breaths in order for productivity in the crazy academia-land of late.

I think I made a poor choice.


also..i like this one:

A little bit of this...

Yesterday I accepted a full time job offer. Here's to growing up and getting old. And having a steady income. I want a tree with glass bottles hanging from it. I want to learn how to cook fancy dishes for no special occasion. I want to join a book club. These are definitely the first things on the "grown-up" Kaylyn list. I also eventually want to take a ball-room dancing class. That's right. Get your kicks.

Is it too soon to be thinking about how I want to decorate my apartment? I'm excited for crafting and for consignment shopping/yard sale-ing.

As far as the work, if I can handle 12 weeks, why not 40 more? I may need a few more suits for this though. I'll try to find some less-prominent shoulder pads.

I went camping with the CCFers (new student retreat) this weekend. I got red bug bites. I refuse to call them chiggers. That makes me think its some communal disease. I did learn that they aren't embedded under your skin. That's a myth. Good news for paranoid Kaylyn. Piece of advice to you all: don't google image chigger bites to diagnose yourself. Just don't.

Other than everyone getting infested with invisible bugs, there was good conversation, springs exploring, grilled hamburgers, s'mores, laughter, transparency, fierce apples to apples gaming, ghost stories, and one excruciatingly hot sleepless night spend on the ground in a tent.

I painted my fingernails hot pink, and it has proved to be a great motivator/mood lightener this week whilst paper-writing, researching, and textbook reading.

The week has introduced the revival of the PB&J. Triangles, not rectangles.

The call with the executive to seal the job above happened at 9:30am and 20 seconds. My alarm went of at 9:30am. Benadryl the night before because of above infestation. Great experience.

This semester has Case Study Tuesdays and Exam Thursdays. No seriously. Every. week.

Today I brought back the happy shoes. The yellow ones.

Listen to my new friend mike's youtube station. Here's a sample.

bee tea dubs...a little bit of that.

Time to Breathe

The past few weeks have been. . .well normal. I've completely failed my goal of keeping a disciplined sleep schedule...I've completely failed at keeping a sleep at all in some moments. I have just gotten very frustrated with the lack of time.

There's not enough time to do all my school work, take care of my "jobs" on campus, and also be an encourager to those whom I serve in CCF, a student ministry I'm in on campus.

And this semester I've made a different choice. I've chosen to spend more time with people than with my books. I know it just sounds like Senioritis, but really--this has been a sacrifice for me. My pride of being perfect in my grades has been very hard to swallow. Now, I'm not saying that I'm going to flunk out of college to make a bunch of friends. But, as someone once told me, the only two eternal investments are in God's Word (and Himself) and in man's soul.

More lunches talking with new students on campus and less in cubicles hiding in the library. More meetings with small group leaders, and more time in prayer for our student ministry than sitting watching online TV shows in my room.

(Now, with that said--I'm learning my lesson on the need for rest and renewal. There is no more important thing that being continually Filled in order to pour into others. I can't keep this up much longer without seeking the One who can give me the energy, and the patience, and the will to continue.)

A rundown of my Friday:

I woke up at 4:45AM to get ready and check-out of a hotel in Orlando. I began working at 6 that morning for the firm that I interned with this summer. They invited me back to staff a non profit conference for around 300 CFOs & CEOs of ministries, charities, schools, and other non profits. They had various guest speakers come in and they shut down the office so I got to see all my staff family from the summer.

Little did I know I was going to have to sit at the front of the main lecture room to hold up signs with the "5 Minute/1 Minute" warning signs for the speakers. I guess, being the lowest on the totem pole, it makes sense.

I wrap all of that up around 4:30, head back through Friday Orlando Traffic, grab some dinner and get back to Stetson at around 7pm. I don't even remember putting my PJs on or getting in my bed (the previous two nights I got about 4 hours sleep)...my friends came and woke me up around 8:30pm because there was a hangout night downstairs.

Groggy, Dazed, and Confused I stumbled downstairs...not really sure if I should have just stayed in the bed.

Last night was my favorite night in the past two years (at least) at school. Nothing had really been planned for the night, just get people together and hang out. We ended up doing a ton of things--starting with man-hunt in a pitch black building. Awesome. Then we switched to indoor frisbee/basketball and finally Mafia. It was around 10:30-11 when we finished our final game of Mafia and I thought that people would be heading out...

But people just naturally moved on to a new thing. We ended up pulling out some pots and pans and a foam ball and then playing a pretty roudy game of indoor baseball. I served as a mascot halfway through with my ghettofabulous dance moves included.

Again, after the game was over it was nearing midnight and I was sure that people would need to be heading out.

But my new friend Mike pulled out his guitar and a sing-along ensued. Oh man, between the dim lighting the acoustics of the room, the friends surrounding me, and the awesome choice of song...i just got the shivers. I'm going to miss moments like that so much after graduation.

We ended up sitting around in a circle just talking about random things...funny how funny things are at 2am. I love how at 8pm I barely knew some of the people and then I felt so close to everyone just a few hours later. The Lord is so faithful in allowing us relationships. I am all too often a poor steward of the blessing of them.

We decided that since most of us had to be up a few hours later we should wrap things up...but no one wanted to be the first one to leave. We all knew how special the night had been. How rare it is that, in life, we will get to have a time like that again.

So---tomorrow I will be a hermit in the library. I will stress about getting all my projects done and not failing out of college my senior year. But today I am thankful for time. I am thankful for a time to sit and sing and laugh and learn and be silly and be serious.