A Dime a Dozen

My posts have been scarce (for me at least) and that's mostly because I haven't had much to talk about. Still not much, but here's a little about what's going on in my life:

1. One final til I'm a Senior. (What?!)


2. Still working on where I'm living for my internship. That's scary as my internship starts in a few weeks. I'm not stressed, which is what's worrying me a little.


3. Jessica got me the cutest owl stationary inside an owl box. Feel very special if you get a note from me on owl stationary this summer. . . .the only downside to what she gave me is that I don't want to send them because I love the print so much.


4. I have been drinking green tea with citrus out of a gallon jug all week. Judge away.


5. I now feel like I'm living in an insane asylum. Everything (minus a few necessities) is gone. My parents came today and we worked hard all day and now I'm a box away from peacing out of "Hall A" (how original) at Stetson.


6. I listened to angry music today (not really angry music...but 90s rock on pandora) and it motivated me to clean and pack.


7. I'm not a princess person (or wedding person) by any stretch of the imagination. . . but I woke up at 4 to watch 5 hours of coverage of the royal wedding and it was definitely worth it. I'll remember it forever, great time with friends and oh my lanta is Kate beautiful ...LOVED the dress!!


8. Sorry to those who follow me on twitter for blowing it up about the event mentioned above.


9. I 'm burdened for the tornado victims in AL, TN, GA, and NC. I think about the video below I posted and how difficult it would be for me to hear had I lost my home, my loved ones, etc. Telling me that being homeless was a blessing, that being a widow was a blessing, etc.


10. Something I've noticed lately, and have been discouraged by is the depth of friendships/relationships in general in my life. It's always hard when friendships change and for me small talk is exhausting. I love depth, talking about things that matter, being challenged, and not having people who understand who you are and what you mean without you having to really explain. Maybe that's my selfishness, or laziness, or my putting too much emphasis on people...whatever it is, it's been on my mind.


11. I hope to finish the project I've been working on for a while within the next week. That's the most exciting thing going on right now.


12. GOAL for May 7-May 21. . .dark. . . brown. . . TAN!

Thanks, Jenni for the reference.

Dear Blank.

• Dear College,

Thank you for instilling in me the willingness to sleep all day and stay awake all night. Thank you for an endless supply of pasta varieties in the lunchroom and for having the lawn service cut grass at 7am outside my window. Thank you for having a diversity day, where classes are canceled even though you know we all just go to the beach instead of attending lectures. Thank you for life-long friendships made over meaning-of-life conversations and sarcastic humor at your expense. Thank you for the upkeep of the property, even though it's funny how that happens right before alumni and incoming student tour weekends. Thanks for public safety, even though I've almost died more than once due to their horrible golf cart driving skills. It's amazing the impact you've had on my life in just three short years. I would say my time with you has been priceless, but then I remember you price it at a minuscule 45 grand a year.

Love,

An empowered college student.

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• Dear Orange Play-Doh on my desk,

Thank you for being flexible. Thanks for helping me relieve stress, and providing a creative outlet when I'm writing research papers.

Love,

A child

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• Dear Laundry on my bed,

You are wrinkled. I know you feel neglected now, but I assure you, you will get the last laugh when I'm wearing you around this week.

Love,

A lazy housekeeper

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• Dear wall of pictures and letters,

Some may judge you, but I adore you. Thank you for reminding me of all the people that care about me. Thank you for reminding me that I am loved. Also, thanks for adding a splash of color to these white walls.

Love,

A friend, sister, daughter, and granddaughter.

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• Dear Specifically Picture of Pacey Whitter on my wall,

Whew. Thank you. Enough said.

Love,

Team Pacey and a Dawson Creek Fanatic

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• Dear Alarm Clock,

We go way back. You invaded my life way back in middle school. Frankly I think the older I get the more we grow far apart. I like that you're a metallic green, but that's about all I like about you. There's something very naggingly annoying about you. You are constantly buzzing about something and to be honest I've had enough. I promise this isn't me being bitter about the fact that you are currently reminding me it is 3 am and I'm not sleeping, or the fact that you will be ringing again in a very small number of hours. I'm just asking you to be more gentle about it. I mean, remember that time that you made me fall off of my 5 foot lofted bed freshman year? That hurt a lot. Let's be better friends these last few weeks okay? Let me snooze a little.

Love,

Not a morning person

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• Dear painting on my wall,

I just noticed you are crooked. Now I can't think about anything else.

Love,

OCD

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• 
  
  
  Dear Readers of this blog,

the last few posts have been pretty heavy. don't worry. i'm still fun. i promise. Love, Kaylyn

Cry

-it's something I've never had a problem doing, and something I do quite often.

-but lately have not been able to do--mostly because I've been empty and numb

-so, tonight, for the first time in 3 plus weeks I cried.

and this is why:

--

have mercy on me, O God.

according to your unfailing love.

according to your great compassion.

blot out my transgressions.

wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

for i know my transgressions and my sin is always before me

against you, you only, have i sinned and done what is evil in your sight

so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge

surely i was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me

surely you desire truth in the inner parts

you teach me wisdom in the inmost place

cleanse me with hyssop, and i will be clean

wash me, and i will be whiter than snow

let me hear gladness;

let the bones you have crushed rejoice

hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity

create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me

do not cast me from your presence

or take your Holy Spirit from me

Restore to me the joy of your salvation

and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me

then i will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you

save me from bloodguilt, O God, the God who saves me,

and my tongue will sing of your righteousness

O Lord, open my lips and my mouth will declare your praise

you do not delight in sacrifice, or i would bring it;

you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings

the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Psalm 51

Bee tea dubs. . .this is not tears, this is my CRY

Quotes

There is perhaps no one of natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it. Struggle with it. Stifle it. Mortify it as much as one pleases. It is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself. . .Even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.

- Benjamin Franklin

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'any pang of healing or forgiveness or goodness I have ever felt comes solely from the grace of God.'

-Phillip Yancey in What's so Amazing about Grace

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"After the suffering of his soul

he will see the light of life and be satisfied

by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,

and he will bear their iniquities.

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,

and he will divide the spoils with the strong,

because he poured out his life unto death,

and was numbered with the transgressors.

For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors."

-Isaiah 53:11-13

Spring Fun

As promised, here are some pictures from last weekend. .. . .

My sis, Karissa for her Senior Prom. . . She was and is beautiful.

She is also a wimp. I'm so happy I captured this. . .her running from a bee in our front yard. It took like 4 times to get a good picture without her squeeling and running around like a pansy over every little gnat or fly. . . .

She's also goofy. . .which I enjoy.

The fam.

Dad rocking his Hawaiian shirts as per usual.

He thinks its okay because they live near the beach.

Karissa and her date Cameron. It was fun being her paparatzi.

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Also: Spring Formal; Theme: Fav Childhood Toys

I went as a Bop It. That's right. I rocked it.

The girls had fun jamming and dancing to some oldies, and some scandelous music.

Most of the group....still waiting on some

The treasure trolls made my night. bahaha.

Yay for spring, and for fun and for silly pictures.

Work

Last night, as I was studying for a test, a friend came over and we started talking (which led to more talking and no studying). Somehow we got on the subject of how life works. She shared with me a story she's reading in her English class about people in America who live in poverty with no electricity or running water and who can't afford medicine for their children. She told the story of one child who died of cancer because the parents couldn't afford any medication. Then, with tears filling her eyes, talked about how her aunt had recently been laid off her job and diagnosed with cancer.

I sat silent, a little numbed with the direction the conversation had taken and also knowing that I had no words worthy of saying at that moment.

After a while, she apologized for distracting me from my work. . .

to which I thought to myself (and eventually responded)

"I think you distracted me from a meaningless task, and helped me better focus on my Work"

and then

"There is so much pain in this world....what the [heck] does a business law test have to do with healing it."

For The Good

Organists

It's been a busy week, with a busy month left of school. I'll be really glad when the next 5 weeks of craziness are over, but I'm trying to embrace these last few weeks instead of wishing them away. The past week was rough and so I was glad when my parents drove down for a banquet Thursday night. I had breakfast with them on Friday morning before my dad left, and hung out with my mom all day Friday running errands together.

Friday night was CCF's formal (which isn't ever formal). This year's theme was "Favorite Childhood Toys" and so I dressed as a Bop-It. Less because I loved the game, and more because it was an easy costume and I found it to be clever. I'll post pictures in the next few days. I had fun releasing stress by way of my ghettofabulous dance moves....and I think others watching enjoyed them too.

Immediately after I ran back, took a quick shower and jumped in the car with mom, my roommate Ashli, and my friend Claire for the 6.5 hour drive home. Yea, we're crazy college kids...we got in at 4:30am EST quite a few coffee stops later. It was fun having the company driving...and we definitely got our Disney jams on...I think mom got a little more than she bargained for, but she was a great sport.

The next day it was all about my sis, Karissa. The reason for coming home (apart from getting a much deserved break from Stetson) was for her senior prom, so we were all up the next morning at 9 for nail, hair, and makeup appointments. (Minus Claire who went to spend the day with her Boo in P-cola 2 hours away)

I'll post pictures of my sis in the next post too. . .she was beautiful as always and one of my favorite moments of the trip was her asking me to help her get ready. Definitely Kaylyn crazy emotional moment.

My parents cooked steaks for me and my friends and I loved getting to sit at the table with my family and friends--and my Nanny & Jack came over too. We all played a rousing round of Apples to Apples before the prom crew was back for a quick change and then off again and we were all fast asleep.

Church with the family and friends on Sunday as well as family pictures (not my favorite thing in the world) on the beach. Claire, Ashli and I got up Monday morning at 5:30 and drove straight back to school in time for afternoon classes.

Definitely didn't get as much rest as I had intended or wanted, but I'm so, so glad the weekend went the way it did.

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Bee Tea Dubs....My favorite part about going to church at my parent's church is watching the organist. I know. This seems to be really silly, creepy, etc. I guess my history with organists is less than amusing. So my preconceived image of them is not very pleasant (stupid Kaylyn for judging) but has one of the most joyful spirits I know. She doesn't stop smiling while she is playing and her love for the Lord radiates through her playing and her attitude as she worships. She and I haven't had any conversations, but I think she has made one of the biggest impacts in my life by the way her relationship with the Lord overflows even in simple things like playing the organ.